Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

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It is often argued that a paramount proportion of young people who study at secondary schools are finding it more challenging to focus on tuition nowadays.

While

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there are a number of negative consequences of

this

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trend,those and

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can be able to address

this

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question in turn. It is true that it is becoming tougher day to day studying school for young ones

due to

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several reasons .The first reason is

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

development of modern manufactured technologies

as well as

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various social

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

,which usually cause to distract pupils

while

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they are in the class.

For example

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, in the United

Kingdom

Add a comma

Kingdom,

show examples

some student

are

Change the verb form

show examples

suffering from the

intrupting

Correct your spelling

interrupting

of their classmates

while

Linking Words

they are doing exercises during the lesson .Their piers

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

watch different videos on their smartphones that are not suitable for their ages.

As a

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result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

many

children

Use synonyms

obsessed

Add a missing verb

are obsessed

show examples

with playing many terrible games on cell

phones

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as PUBG is known as

interesting

Add an article

an interesting

show examples

game for young ones to play on numerous platforms

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to enter hazardous ways during their lives.

On the other hand

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,there are a plethora of steps that could be taken by individuals and

Use synonyms

government

Fix the agreement mistake

governments

show examples

to solve the obstacles.To commence with, parents

who their

Correct pronoun usage

whose

show examples

children

Use synonyms

are

educating

Wrong verb form

educated

show examples

at schools play an important role in

this

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case .Primarily because,They purchase the most expensive and the latest

made

Verb problem

apply

show examples

phones

Use synonyms

for their

children

Use synonyms

regardless of their ages and

also

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

means that it is the biggest mistake to some

extend

Replace the word

extent

show examples

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

parents

made

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

.It is crucial reason that after they give

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

phones

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

young ones,

children

Use synonyms

should be controlled per day what they are watching or playing on smartphones.

In addition

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,to tackle

this

Linking Words

issue

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

of kids

also

Linking Words

play a significant role.

As a result

Linking Words

Add a comma

show examples

it needs to be done by

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

a government

the government

show examples

that new laws should be produced for kids to study in school without bringing

phones

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

Correct your spelling

appears to me that

Correct your spelling

certain measures could be taken to eliminate

this

Linking Words

issue by parents and

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

would perhaps be

Add an article

a more

show examples

effective way to avoid

difficult

Replace the word

difficulty

show examples

paying attention

Change preposition

show examples

children

Use synonyms

although

Linking Words

there are many negative aspects of

this

Linking Words

trend.

muborakholiqova6Thu Dec 14 2023

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introduction conclusion present

While your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, they lack a clear thesis statement and summarization of the main points. It's important to explicitly state the essay's purpose and summarize the key arguments in the conclusion for enhanced clarity.

logical structure

Your essay demonstrates a basic structure but lacks clear transitions and cohesive devices between ideas and paragraphs. Consider using a range of cohesive devices and clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument coherently.

supported main points

Your main points are somewhat supported with examples, but the presentation could be clearer. Make sure your examples directly support the arguments you are making and are explained fully for the reader to understand their relevance.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas you've included related to the topic are relevant, but they are not always expressed clearly and comprehensively. Work on structuring your sentences and paragraphs to ensure that the reader can easily follow your argument and understand the points you are trying to make.

complete response

You have addressed the task to some extent and provided examples, however, ensure that your essay directly answers the question asked. Focus on directly responding to the 'why' aspect of the reasons and the 'how' aspect of the solutions, in order to fully satisfy the task requirements.

relevant specific examples

Your use of specific examples is good, however, they should be contextualized and explained in a way that clearly links them to the points you are making. Work on integrating examples more smoothly into your argument.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

351 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Attention span
Cognitive function
Digital devices
Screen time
Physical activity
Concentration
Nutrition
Processed foods
Sleep deprivation
Mental health
Academic performance
Classroom environment
Teaching assistants

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Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM food. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this

In the countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people by imported food?What could be done to encourage people to buy local food.