Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The debate surrounding
to improve
Change the verb form
improving
road
safety
is to increase the minimum legal age
of driving is
an ongoing process from past so many years. Some people things after 18 one should opt Wrong verb form
which has been
Change preposition
for the
the
driving licence Correct article usage
a
while
other
disagree with the same. In my Fix the agreement mistake
others
opinion
I agree with the idea and will outline several compelling reasons in Add a comma
opinion,
this
essay.
The perfect age
of
one to get their driving licence is on or after 18 as Change preposition
for
this
is same
Correct article usage
the same
age
for voting. At this
age
youth turned into adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
have
capability of logical thinking. Change preposition
with have
Although
when it comes to driving
licence 16 can be considered as Correct article usage
a driving
best
Add an article
the best
age
to increase the effective road
safety
measures there are lost
of Correct your spelling
lots
reason
to support the same. Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
Firstly
, proper education can be provided in regards of
Change preposition
to
road
safety
, carrying forward people are often more mature and have more life experience also
they are confident enough to drive carefully. They can make quicker and wise
Correct word choice
wiser
decision
to avoid Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
the
dangerous accidents. Correct article usage
apply
Also
, safety
comes from experience and in driving experience matters. Furthermore
, raising the minimum driving age
can allow adolescents to have more time to sharpen their driving skills. They can attend defensive driving courses to learn how to deal with different
driving scenarios, which will help them minimize the risk of accidents when driving in the future.
Correct your spelling
different
On the other hand
, I believe that as Correct article usage
a person
person
Change noun form
person's
age
increases the burden of responsibility also
increases parallelly one don't
have even time to study driving laws, Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
take
proper classes, Correct word choice
or take
at
the end Change preposition
in
this
either result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
to
loss of life or heavy penalties because of breaking the law. Change preposition
in
Also
, government
should impose and strengthen strict traffic Add an article
the government
law
that can endorse and act as a deterrent to would-be traffic Fix the agreement mistake
laws
law breakers
. Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
For example
, In
people who run red lights are fined heavily, and Change preposition
apply
therefore
this
will make them more responsible in order to avoid future punishments
In conclusion, while
raising the legal driving age
can make our roads safer to some extent, I believe that governments should also
introduce other road
safety
measures that are discussed above.Submitted by Choudharymahima151 on
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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic, but it is not clear and contains grammatical errors that obscure meaning. The conclusion is present but not entirely developed, with some repetition of ideas rather than a clear summary and final position.
coherence cohesion
You attempted to create a logical structure, but the development of main points is not always clear or logical, and paragraphing needs improvement. In future essays, ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea with supporting details.
task achievement
Your essay lacks clear and comprehensive development of the ideas. Make sure to expand your points with relevant examples and explanation, providing a more thorough discussion that answers the question in a balanced manner.
task achievement
You need to include more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. Ensure that your examples are directly related to the points you're making and add depth to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and sufficiently developed, presenting the topic and summarizing the main points effectively. The conclusion should also reiterate your position without introducing new arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.