Countries are becoming more and mote similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

#countries #mote #people #products #world

In today's society, there

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

massive resemblances between nations around the world

due to

using

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

products. Personally,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that

this

improvement will have both negatives and positives. On the

first

Correct word choice

other

show examples

hand, we can not deny

many

Correct article usage

the many

show examples

benefits that they give to us.

Firstly

, it is a good way for us to access a variety of goods from other countries.

Therefore

peole's

Correct your spelling

people's

lives will be better day by day and society is

also

more and more modern and developed.

In addition

, people don't necessarily order the product they need on the Internet anymore. Because these products all are available in their city, they can buy

whenever

Correct pronoun usage

them whenever

show examples

they want.

However

, there

also

have several disadvantages. The first

ine

Correct your spelling

one

line

is that they can lose their natural identity.

Peole

Correct your spelling

People

tend to live

the

Correct article usage

show examples

more modern life, so they

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

mimic other modern

countries's

Remove the s

countries'

show examples

lives, from eating to daily activities.

This

leads to the fact that they will gradually forget the traditional activities.

Besides

, these

development

Fix the agreement mistake

developments

show examples

also

will significantly impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the older generation.

For example

, mobile phones are becoming more and more popular with people around the world, especially young

peole

Correct your spelling

people

, but as for the elderly, they don't have any knowledge about using phones.

Therefore

, they need to learn how to use the phone to easily contact

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their children.

However

, using a phone is not easy so they have many

difficult

Replace the word

difficulties

show examples

in using it. In conclusion, accessing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

products from other nations is not wrong.

However

, we should

choosing

Change the verb form

choose

be choosing

show examples

proper goods for ourselves and society, should not imitate too many modern countries.

Submitted by hamy152007 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure your introduction clearly defines the topic and your viewpoint. The conclusion should effectively summarize your main points and restate your position without introducing new information.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with clear, detailed examples. Each paragraph should have a central idea that is expanded upon with specific information or examples.

Task Achievement

Address the prompt fully by ensuring that you answer every part of the question and elaborating on it sufficiently. Your opinions and arguments should be thoroughly explained and backed up with evidence or reasoning.

Task Achievement

Articulate your ideas clearly and make sure they are comprehensive. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your argument is easily understood.

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Incorporate specific examples that are directly relevant to your argument. Examples should clearly support the point you are making and be specific enough to add weight to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Countries are becoming more and mote similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Parents often give children everything they ask for and let them do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?

Some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them while other scientists think that is a bad idea and it would be dangerous. Discuss both views and give your opinion.