Many people use social media everyday to get in touch with other people and obtain the news.Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Technology, particularly social
media
, has advanced rapidly in recent years. It has aided people
in swiftly contacting and connecting with others. Many individuals believe that this
is the case. It's a beautiful thing, and social networks have made human existence more convenient, and progressive. However
, some people
believe that excessive usage of social media
will lead to misuse. They will have a negative impact
on human life. The second point of view, in my opinion, is more persuasive.
First,
we can observe that using social media
on a daily basis helps vital news propagate quicker
. That has helped individuals understand what is going on in their lives, Replace the word
quickly
live
more comfortably, effortlessly, and swiftly. Correct word choice
and live
Furthermore
, it lets users maintain daily contact with loved ones and friends, no matter where they are.Which from
my perspective, I believe it is a good thing because some Correct pronoun usage
From
people
had
to leave their hometown for specific circumstances Wrong verb form
have
such
as job opportunity
or College whatsoever, Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
therefore
, having access to communicate with the people
you love is basically what we all need.
However
, in addition
to these advantages, excessive use of social media
can have major disadvantages.For example
,It will have an impact
on your social skills, and not practicing
face-to-face communication on a regular basis will have an Change the spelling
practising
impact
on your performance in interacting with others, leading to difficulty connecting with others.Furthermore
, not every content producer is deserving of your attention; some publish the most absurd and offensive stuff without regard for the implications of their actions.This
will have an impact
on the news we get, which is incredibly damaging to everyone's view.
Finally
, the increased usage of social media
is having an impact
on people
's lives. Despite the fact that it has the potential to reduce cultural inequities, it may also
land you in serious difficulty. As a result
, I feel the negatives outweigh the benefits while
keeping people
's safety in mind.Submitted by phuongkhanhelysia on
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task achievement
Your essay lacks a clear thesis statement and the introduction does not present the topic effectively. A clear opinion should be stated in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
The organization of the essay needs improvement. Work on developing clear and logical paragraphs, each with a central idea that is explained and supported.
task achievement
You need to provide more relevant examples to support your points. Examples should be specific and clearly linked to the ideas you are discussing in order to demonstrate the impact of social media effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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