Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
There are ongoing debate where some college students argue that it is important to learn another
subject
in order to supplement their main subject
, while
other
think that they have to devote all of their time to deepening their knowledge of their Fix the agreement mistake
others
subject
. Personally, I believe that learning another field
could improve abilities not only in the main subject
but in other fields which are still important to support our lives.
On the one hand, some high-education student mentions that it is crucial to develop their knowledge besides
their main subject
by learning other areas of study. They believe that human life is not solely supported by one specific science but also
by another study as an extra skill. Furthermore
, this
will be a supplement for the main subject
to make life easier and also
could provide wider opportunities which not only depend on the main field
that they are focused on.
On the other hand
, others believe that focusing their self to pursuing their future related to their subject
must be a priority. By holistic learning in this
area of knowledge, they can develop themselves and deepen the skills needed to be a professional in that specific field
. Moreover
, when they want to learn another field
, they have to devote their time, which sometimes requires extra hour
which can contribute to their health issue.
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
To conclude
, it seems to me that learning another subject
besides
our main course is still important to develop and open a wider opportunity in global competitions. It will be a good way for everyone to improve themself, as long as they make sure that they have become an expert in their field
and they can manage their time wisely in another area of study.Submitted by k a l l a on
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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear stance and discusses both views, providing more specific examples would help in illustrating your points more effectively. Consider adding real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be rephrased for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'By holistic learning in this area of knowledge...' could be clearer as 'By focusing their learning on this area of knowledge...'. Doubling down on clear and concise sentences will make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. While each part of your essay is coherently written, adding transitional phrases could help in guiding the reader more easily through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize your main points and personal stance. This is crucial for a well-rounded essay.
task achievement
The essay does a good job in discussing both perspectives on the topic, which shows a balanced view and understanding of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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