Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. What problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation?
The difference in income between the affluent and impoverished is always
prevelant
in many countries and it is always growing, Correct your spelling
prevalent
this
crack in remuneration creates certain issues in society.
To begin
with, there are multiple problems caused due to
economic disparity. the inaccebility
of education to all classes of Correct your spelling
inaccessibility
inability
people
,
have Remove the comma
apply
probability
Add an article
the probability
a probability
to increase
the Change preposition
of increasing
crime
rate
, and poor
public health care system Correct article usage
the poor
are
the main concern spreading inequality. It is more difficult for impoverished children to educate themselves because a good education is more expensive nowadays, Change the verb form
is
as a result
,it is dificult
for them to grab a good Correct your spelling
difficult
opportiunity
. Correct your spelling
opportunity
Furthermore
, the rise in crime
rate
is also
because of economic issues, For example
, in some parts of African
continent, the Add an article
the African
crime
rate
is high because literacy
Correct article usage
the literacy
rate
is poor.
On the other hand
, Some solutions are recomended
to overcome the difference, Correct your spelling
recommended
firstly
government
should provide, some financial help to Correct article usage
the government
people
who are below in per-capita income of the country
. The government should ensure quality education at a low expense and better opportunity to find good jobs, futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
this
will surely results
in reducing the vent between the rich and poor. Change the verb form
result
Secondly
, wealthy people
should pay timely taxes to overcome the differences in the country
. For example
, the mid-day food system which is
introduced in many parts of my Wrong verb form
been
country
has increased the literacy rate
In a nutshell, developing countries should focus on literacy rates to reduce poverty in their country
to overcome crime
rates. Other developed nations should lend their helping hands to overcome the gap between two
classes of Correct article usage
the two
people
. Scholarship and free books can uplift the poor class student to lead a better life in their
future.Change the word
the
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coherence cohesion
The essay's overall logical structure is weak. Ideas need to be better organized and more clearly connected to one another. Work on transitioning smoothly between points, using phrases that show cause-and-effect, contrast, or sequence, in order to create a more cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and the conclusion are underdeveloped, affecting the overall clarity of the essay. The introduction should give a brief overview of the topic and a clear indication of what the essay will cover. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the thesis effectively without adding new information.
coherence cohesion
Main points are touched upon but not sufficiently developed with evidence and examples. When discussing issues such as education, crime, and public health, ensure that each point is supported with clear explanations or specific, illustrative examples.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the prompt, as it does not develop comprehensive answers to 'what problems can arise' and 'what could be done'. To improve, directly respond to each aspect of the question and offer a more detailed exploration of the implications and possible solutions.
task achievement
The ideas presented need to be further developed to provide a clear and comprehensive understanding of the topic. Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to express and elaborate on the issues and solutions related to the income gap between the rich and poor.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples is limited, which makes it challenging for the reader to grasp the real-world applications of your points. To enhance your response, incorporate concrete examples that effectively illustrate the issues and solutions you are discussing.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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