Many working people get little or no excercise either during the working days or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough excerise? What can be done about this problem?
Nowadays with
rush
in working Add an article
a rush
the rush
hours
a number of employees lack exercises action, even in their spare Add a comma
hours,
time
leading to a
adverse impact on their health. Change the article
an
This
essay will shed light on the reasons of
why workers do not get Change preposition
apply
abundance
of it and how Add an article
an abundance
tackle
Add the particle
to tackle
this
issue.
a number of working people have long day
in Fix the agreement mistake
days
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
due to
either heavy workload
or congested tasks. Which Fix the agreement mistake
workloads
decrease
their Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
time
to looking
after their health by Wrong verb form
look
exercise
as an example.
Wrong verb form
exercising
Consequently
, at
their free Change preposition
in
time
would preference to spend with families and another
social Correct quantifier usage
other
activity
.
Another reason is that the employees do not have a good knowledge about the importance of exercise on Fix the agreement mistake
activities
overall
well-being and believe that these activities are waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
time
.
On the contrary
, There are several steps to tackle this
problem. Firstly
, by raises the awareness of importance of exercises
activities on their mental by Change the noun form
exercise
enhance
the brain, Change the verb form
enhancing
s
memory and critical thinking, on physical which Correct your spelling
's
reflect
on Correct subject-verb agreement
reflects
body
, Correct article usage
the body
s
fit and durability. Correct your spelling
's
Moreover
, uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
of
exercise by workers to change their scenery, s by Change preposition
apply
relief
Replace the word
relieving
the
Correct article usage
apply
stresses
and relaxation.
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
Additionally
, there are gyms that offered
by Add a missing verb
are offered
organization
to all Add an article
the organization
staffs
and their families and Fix the agreement mistake
staff
this
way trigger
the employees to do it. or Correct subject-verb agreement
triggers
by
Competition between the members on Change preposition
apply
particular
activity would increase Correct article usage
a particular
inclination
and desire to Correct article usage
the inclination
competitive
.
Replace the word
compete
To sum up
, lack of exercises
have diverse problems Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
on
working people on their physical, mental and even psychological. Change preposition
for
However
, any issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
a solutions
and Correct the article-noun agreement
a solution
solutions
this
situation can avoid
Wrong verb form
be avoided
by
different ways which Change preposition
in
mention
above.Wrong verb form
are mentioned
Submitted by enasawad68 on
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structure
The essay's overall structure needs improvement for better logical flow. An objective and clear introduction, consistent paragraphing, and a coherent conclusion would enhance cohesion.
development
Main points should be well-developed and expanded with detailed support and sound reasoning. Avoid general or repetitive statements that fail to advance your argument.
task
The response fails to address the task fully. Both parts of the prompt should be equally addressed. Aim for a balanced essay where you discuss the reasons for the lack of exercise and propose specific solutions in clear, detailed paragraphs.
examples
Make sure to provide specific examples that directly support your main ideas. Avoid vague statements and generalizations that do not effectively back up your points.
grammar
Work on grammar, including sentence structure, to ensure that your ideas are communicated clearly and effectively. Errors in grammar can greatly impact the readability and cohesion of your essay.
vocabulary
Pay attention to vocabulary usage. Using a variety of precise and appropriate words can enhance your essay. Be cautious with word choice to avoid ambiguous or incorrect terms that can confuse the reader or alter the intended meaning.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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