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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

With the expansion of giant supermarkets, small
shops
Use synonyms
 face difficulties in competing often resulting in them shutting down their
shops
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.
This
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 affects the local society and for that reason, the closure of these
stores
Use synonyms
 must be avoided.
To begin
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 with, having small
shops
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 shut down, the community will lose the unique character that these
stores
Use synonyms
 add. These
stores
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 have variants of products,
such
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 as selling items imported from a different culture or region. The local
stores
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 add a special connection to people living in foreign countries and are
also
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 an opportunity for the original inhabitants to get a look into others' traditions.
Additionally
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, individuals who are willing to start a small business may be affected by the unsuccess of these
stores
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.
Therefore
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 these starters may lack motivation to start a business.
Thus
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, the disappearance of small
stores
Use synonyms
 affects communities by unmotivating them to start a project and isolates them from connection with the diversity of our world.
Therefore
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, it is crucial to help these
stores
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 improve their situation by promoting their products on different platforms,
such
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 as social media. Making partnerships with entrepreneurs who try their products will affect the marketing psychology of the viewers. People these days follow trends, and making publicities online will improve these local shop customers.
Moreover
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, making some areas where small
shops
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 exist, not accessible for large supermarkets in
such
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 a neighbourhood, will make them benefit from all the clients in the area. In
this
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 way, local
shops
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 will have the opportunity to get more clients
,
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apply
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 and are less likely to close their
stores
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. In conclusion, the disappearance of local
shops
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 affects communities by
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of unique character and unmotivating individuals to start their projects.
Hence
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, more marketing and rules should be made to support these local store owners.

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Relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples of local shops and their benefits or contributions to communities to strengthen your argument.
Complete response
Develop a clearer and more detailed response to each aspect of the task to achieve a higher score in task achievement.
Clear comprehensive ideas
You have clearly outlined the impact of local shop closures on communities, touching on the unique character that local shops provide and the motivational effects on potential entrepreneurs.
Introduction conclusion present
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through your arguments.
Logical structure
Your essay uses logical structure to effectively explore the positives and negatives of small shops closing down and the potential solutions.
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