IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#developments #lives #people
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 which have been made earlier giving more benefits rather than which is
making
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 now and will make in future. I am pretty sure,
Correct article usage
the tecnology
show examples
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 which is
produsing
Correct your spelling
producing
 now
less
Add a missing verb
is less
show examples
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 and overrated. all of
Correct article usage
the tecnology
show examples
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 which was
developing
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 is more
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 now. on the one hand, before
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 not
perfecting
Wrong verb form
perfected
show examples
 and
needing
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
, but they were not used and modified like now, wherein all
thecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 which we have,
developing
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 in past, but improved now.
for example
 cars. it was
making
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 1800 and in our
eon
Change the spelling
aeon
show examples
 we have cars with petrol, for people in 1800 it would look like magic.
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second,
they made
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 with necessity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and only
gorges
Capitalize word
Gorges
show examples
 made it.
for example
 phones, it was made for conversation between peoples who live
as
Rephrase
apply
show examples
far
.
Rephrase
away.
show examples
on the other hand
, now scientists
try
Wrong verb form
are trying
show examples
 to develop something unnecessary. and it is becoming more crazy and crazy. we just
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 need
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 thing. it would be
unnesesary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 to explain all of them. but we can not exclude, some of the
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
 good.
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 electric cars, which
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not create big problems for nature like patrol. in the end, there are many examples of
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 which
is creating
Wrong verb form
have been created
show examples
 in all time, and you can argue endlessly and
infinetly
Correct your spelling
infinitely
, but if we analyze all
argue
Verb problem
the arguments
show examples
 and
Correct your spelling
examples
exampless
Correct your spelling
examine
, technologies which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 made in past,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more
Correct your spelling
useful
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 and have more
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefites
Correct your spelling
benefits
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us, rather technologies which is made now
Submitted by azizasalikhova7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential components of a coherent argument. Ensure to include a distinct introduction that outlines your position on the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
coherence
Work on the logical flow of your ideas by organizing them into clear, well-structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should revolve around a single main idea and should be connected to the overall theme of the essay seamlessly.
support
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples to strengthen your argument. General statements without evidence are less persuasive and weaken the coherence of your essay.
task response
Ensure that you address the entire scope of the task, providing well-developed ideas and arguments related to the topic. Avoid overly general or tangential remarks that do not directly contribute to your answer to the question.
grammar and accuracy
Proofread your writing for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Repeated errors can significantly impact the reader's ability to understand your argument and reduce your coherence and cohesion score.
vocabulary
Consider the use of vocabulary and aim to employ a range of appropriate terms rather than repeating the same words. This will demonstrate your linguistic range and contribute to a higher score in coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: