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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think success in life comes work, but others think there are more important factors. To what exted do you agree or disagree

#people #success #life #work #factors
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Some individuals contend that an individual's self-
effort
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effort
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 is the most important thing in their
life
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 and they can feel unfilled with their
life
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 without working hard. In my opinion, I agree that working is the key to a successful
life
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 ,
however
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, individuals who defend
this
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 argument must consider that work is not the only thing that matters in real
life
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life
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 and there are far more significant priorities
such
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 as family and friendship. On the one hand, it is a fact that working hard provides to live a successful
life
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 and without putting enough
effort
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 into some jobs or goals in our
life
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 sometimes ends with regret. A
person
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 must work hard to not feel regret. To better illustrate when a student procrastinates studying and does not put enough
effort
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 into his/her exam, he/she will probably fail in exam and that causes sadness and regrets. To prevent these unwanted situations from happening a
person
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 needs to take time for work.
On the other hand
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, a
life
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 that just ended working is
also
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 not healthy. Balance is everything and if a
person
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 neglects their other responsibilities or priorities
such
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 as family and friends, unwanted situations can occur in their social relationship whether he/she is a very hardworking
person
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.
Moreover
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, these undesirable conditions may affect an individual's working
life
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 negatively.
For example
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, I did not see any successful
person
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 who neglects his/her other responsibilities and social relationships.
To sum up
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, I would agree that putting in enough
effort
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 is key to maintaining a successful
life
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however
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, there are far more important cases rather than working hard.
Submitted by yusufpacaci1863 on

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relevant specific examples
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clear comprehensive ideas
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
logical structure
There's a logical progression of ideas that makes the essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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