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Band 3

Nowadays,most of the information is available on the internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think that advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantage

#information #internet #books #paper #situation
With the rapid technological development, taking
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 from the internet
instead
from
Correct word choice
of from
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 books became a reality because easier and faster ways are more preferred. I personally believe that the availability of online
information
 will bring far more benefits than the possible drawbacks they have.
To begin
 with the positives of the
information
 available on the internet. For one thing, it is so
east
Correct your spelling
easy
show examples
 to take
information
 online
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 you can know everything you want with
push
Add an article
the push
show examples
 of a button and everywhere.
Secondly
, it is the fastest way to collect
information
whereas
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people are able to save time and they can find many things they need regardless of the time. On top of that, after
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
 pandemic, many schools changed their program and made it all online.
However
, there are
also
 some negative,
firstly
,
information
 available on the internet can be misleading
due to
 the multiple
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
websites, to illustrate, maybe you need
information
 about a specific year and you forget to put the required year, so unfortunately all your job would be wrong, so you need to pay attention carefully.
Furthermore
, it can lead
problems
Change preposition
to problems
show examples
whereas
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if you spend extra time using
computer
Add an article
a computer
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such
 as eye problems and so on.
To sum up
, regardless of the many
demerit
Change to a plural noun
demerits
show examples
 of online
information
, we
also
 have
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 proof and merit to believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by noorghazzawi0 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure there is a clear and logical flow to your paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make certain your introduction and conclusion clearly reflect the main points of your essay. The conclusion should effectively summarize your argument without introducing new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support each main point with relevant, developed examples. Your ideas should be expanded upon with explanations or examples that support the argument you are making.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your essay directly responds to the question with a clear position and that all elements of the prompt are covered.
Task Achievement
Organize and present ideas clearly and with purpose. Aim for a comprehensive and logically structured argument that is easy for the reader to follow.
Task Achievement
Include relevant examples to back up your statements. Where appropriate, use specific details or evidence to make your essay more persuasive and meaningful.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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