Some people think that young children need to attend nursery before primary school. While others believe young children can spend all day at home. Duscuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there have been numerous people who discussed that young
children
have to attend nursery
before go
to primary school Change the verb form
going
while
other people believe it is better for them to stay at home all day. In my opinion, it is better to introduce them as early as possible with
Change preposition
to
new
Add an article
the new
surrounding
. Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
Therefore
, they are not shock
once they go to primary school. In Change the verb form
are not shocked
this
essay, I will examine all the relevant opinions based on factual premises.
There are several arguments that agree with this
statement. The predominant is that young children
requires
Change the verb form
require
amount
of Add an article
an amount
the amount
time
to recognize their surrounding, as result
of Correct article usage
a result
this
, it is important to put them in nursery
. Add an article
the nursery
a nursery
Moreover
, they can learn to socialize with other children
, know how to share food and toys, learn
how to Correct word choice
and learn
empathy
which Replace the word
empathise
it
can help them when they attend primary school in the future. Correct pronoun usage
apply
In addition
, young children
might get new
Add an article
a new
experience
that may parents not give Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
it
at home especially if their parents do not have sufficient Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
because of engaged
with their Change the form of the verb
engaging
occupation
. Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
Furthermore
, in nursery
, they learn how to manage their Add an article
the nursery
a nursery
time
well. For example
, they acknowledge when they must sleep or continue to play.
On the other hand
, parents might think their children
too
young to Add a missing verb
are too
put
Verb problem
go
in
Change preposition
to
nursery
and they want to spend more time
with their children
. Moreover
, numerous people might feel burdened because they must spend a lot of money to
their Change preposition
so
children
can join the nursery
.
In conclusion, giving new experience
and helping Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
children
to adapt to new places would help them adjust better when they must deal with new environment
. Fix the agreement mistake
environments
Moreover
, learning social skills Change preposition
at in
in
early age can help to build their Correct your spelling
an
characters
.Fix the agreement mistake
character
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task achievement
Task Achievement: The essay addresses the topic but lacks full development of the ideas. There is a clear position throughout the response; however, it requires more detailed and fully extended examples to support the points made, as well as a more thorough comparison between the two views.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical sequencing of information and ideas is adequately managed. Although paragraphing is present, there seems to be an imbalance in the development of the main points. The essay could benefit from more varied and appropriate linking words/phrases and a stronger introduction and conclusion to better signal the start and end of the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.