Some people believe that hobbies do not need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that for hobbies to be enjoyable, they do not need to have a certain degree of complication. I completely agree with the statement. These activities have a totally different objective for individuals who practice them and it has to be understood correctly
Difficulty is exactly the principal obstacle for hobbies to be profitable for many individuals. The most compelling reason to explain
this
is that these amusements exist to contrast other competitive and challenging exercises and to enable people with fewer capacities to practice them. Linking Words
Consequently
, several persons perform multiple occupations without being worried about learning any precise skills. Linking Words
For example
, my father found football too technical and demanding so he decided not to choose it to be his hobby.
A hobby can be totally gratifying through innumerable other aspects without needing to be difficult. Linking Words
Firstly
, society usually seeks in these activities multiple feelings and values Linking Words
such
as respect, team spirit, fellowship and even love that Linking Words
make
each activity enjoyable. Change the verb form
makes
For instance
, an article published by the Oxford Journal Gazette in 1999 shows that a hobby can be profitable in 23 different ways where the idea of adding difficulty to the leisure occupation is never mentioned. Linking Words
Additionally
, when tasks become more complex, the environment can become distressing. Linking Words
However
, it is true that difficulty can Linking Words
also
sometimes contribute to building a healthy atmosphere.
Linking Words
To conclude
, I wholeheartedly agree with the opinion that hobbies have to be demanding to be likeable. The challenging aspect is the principal barrier for many men and women to enjoy an activity. We can all find countless other features that make an occupation pleasant without making it necessarily difficult and I really recommend people to find them as soon as they can.Linking Words
Submitted by santos_dij on
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Introduction/Conclusion
It is important to provide a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main argument and summarise your view effectively. The introduction in this essay does not clearly set up the argument, and the conclusion needs to succinctly summarise the points made.
Logical Structure
Ensure that your essay displays a logical structure by arranging ideas in a clear, linear progression. This essay has some semblance of structure but jumps between ideas without clear transitional phrases to guide the reader.
Main Points Support
Complete Response
The essay provides a response to the prompt, but the completion of the response is lacking. The argument that hobbies do not need to be difficult requires more elaboration and clearer justifications throughout the essay.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Your ideas are somewhat clear, but strive for more comprehensive explanations. Aim to expand on your points in a detailed manner that leaves no room for ambiguity in the reader's mind. The ideas could be explained in greater detail to enhance understanding.
Relevant and Specific Examples
Including relevant examples is crucial to strengthen your argument. Though the essay provides some examples, they need to be more specific to your point and clearly illustrate why hobbies do not require difficulty to be enjoyable.