IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Most countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. What problems are caused by international tourism? What are the solutions to address these problems?

#countries #tourism #effects #address
Many people claim that foreign tourism has had some consequences for their countries. There are several
problems
 that have negative effects on some respects of their nations.
However
, some measures can be adopted to remedy these situations. It is considered that there are three of the biggest threats relating to global tourism. The environment is an aspect
that is
 most significantly affected.
For example
, more and more visitors have
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
, which can contribute to environmental
problems
as well as
 air pollution. Another issue that can be mentioned is tourists' unawareness. Some pretend to be poor and ask for money to continue their journey or return to their countries.
This
 can be considered a typical example.
Furthermore
, diseases are
also
 a hotly debated topic. Research has found that international exchange and travel can cause a variety of health conditions,
such
 as COVID-19 and Ebola. There are some solutions that can be taken to tackle these
problems
. First of all, the government should enact a strict policy about environmental protection. Foreign visitors will be fined if they throw pollutants and trash carelessly or
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 put them in
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 place.
Secondly
,
in addition
 to raising the awareness of tourists, the embassy
also
 needs to support them in finance to go back to their home nations.
Finally
, it is essential to have medical checks at airports to ensure the health of all passengers.
For instance
, we must have the test before flying to prevent infected agents from becoming epidemics. In conclusion, there are some reasons that make local residents have pessimistic feelings about international tourists.
However
, the
problems
 will be improved by the efforts of both the government and society. It is predicted that international tourism will enhance positively in the future thanks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the suitable improvement.
Submitted by tranhachuongthu on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic which is developed coherently. At times, your essay touched upon ideas that weren't sufficiently expanded upon, leading to potential ambiguity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were present, but they were not as effective as they could have been. Try to engage more with the question and clearly outline your essay in the introduction. Summarise your points more clearly in the conclusion for better impact.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with precise and relevant details. Some examples provided were a bit too general or lacked specificity which is necessary for a higher score.
task achievement
Be sure to address all parts of the task. The essay addresses the problems caused by tourism superficially but needs to deepen the analysis to satisfy the requirements of the prompt more completely.
task achievement
Try to expand your ideas into clearer and more comprehensive arguments. Your essay sometimes skews towards generalizations without offering an in-depth exploration of the problems and solutions.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples that are directly connected to the problems you've identified. While some examples were mentioned, they could have been more pertinent and detailed to support your points effectively.
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