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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of britian.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of britian.
#information #police #budget #area #britian
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The table provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about different sources where
Police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 came from in an area of England
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 how the
money
Use synonyms
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
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 on various sector including salaries, technology, building and transport.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 that most
amount
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
money
Correct article usage
the money
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 in
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
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budget
Use synonyms
can
Verb problem
comes
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 from
national
Add an article
the national
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 government
whereas
Linking Words
 most of the
money
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
is used
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in paying
Change preposition
to pay
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 salaries. As can be seen from the table
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 national government provided
huge
Add an article
a huge
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amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 in both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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 2017 and 2018, which
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 175. 5
million
Use synonyms
 and 177. 8
million
Use synonyms
 respectively. The second important
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
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 is the local taxes which supplied 91. 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017 and 102. 3
million
Use synonyms
 in 2018 in the total
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 there are
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 sources
such
Linking Words
 as grants
also
Linking Words
 provide some
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 in the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
, 38
million
Use synonyms
 and 38. 5
million
Use synonyms
 in the two years of total
money
Use synonyms
. In 2018, the total
amount
Use synonyms
stand
Wrong verb form
stood
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with
Change preposition
at
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 318. 6
million
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 which is higher than 2017's total. Most of the
money
Use synonyms
distributed
Add a missing verb
was distributed
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 as salaries to the offices and staff 75% in 2017 and 69% in 2018. The
amount
Use synonyms
 invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 building and transport
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 has the same percentage in both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 which is 17%.
Technology
Add an article
The technology
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 required less
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 in both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 2017 and 2018, 8% and 14% respectively.
Submitted by nilomcorraya on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words police, budget, money, amount, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 6 times.
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