Today, TV channels show more men’s sports than women’s sports. Why is this the case? Should TVchannels give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport?

These days, the broadcast time of
man's
Fix the agreement mistake
men's
show examples
sports
programs
overwhelming
sports
programs
for
women
. In
this
essay, I will explain why
TV
channels
should premiere both of the above
programs
for an equal time. I believe many reasons cause the lack of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carelessness for
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
sports
.
Firstly
,
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
audience ratio always outweighs
women
, so
TV
producers need to provide more
men
's
channels
and earn more.
For example
,
men
's football is always awaited by everyone, they share their happiness when their favourite team goals,
this
Correct word choice
but this
show examples
is very rare for
women
.
Secondly
,
men
often outperform
women
in physical activities, they participate in heavy
sports
,
such
as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
boxing and gym... So it is understandable that
TV
producers decided to broadcast
men
's
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
programs
more to stimulate viewers, who are mostly
men
, and earn a huge amount of dollars from sponsorships.
However
, I agree that
TV
channels
extend their streaming duration on
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
programs
equal to
men
's. The first reason is
create
Change the verb form
to create
show examples
equality and encourage
women
to enroll
sports
Change preposition
in sports
show examples
more
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they should
also
be treated equally and
received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
well-deserved recognition from the public by adjusting the duration of
women
's
sports
programs
. Another reason is,
by
Correct word choice
that by
show examples
appearing on
TV
channels
with images of
women
athletes, they will be more popular to the public and they will have a chance to participate in advertising and become a brand representative, and
TV
producers can earn more.
Submitted by kienprogamer30 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and use a variety of cohesive devices to link these ideas together. Avoid repetition and aim for more complex sentence structures to enhance flow. It's important to maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout your essay.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, fully address all parts of the task by developing your position with a greater range of relevant ideas and supporting these ideas with specific examples and details. Also, work on presenting a more balanced argument when comparing two points of view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: