Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

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Some believe that

children

Use synonyms

today spend considerably more

time

Use synonyms

watching television than previous generations, leading to decreased physical activity levels. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement, and the following essay will discuss and recommend a few methods to address

this

Linking Words

issue. The busy lifestyle created by the bombardment of technology has made it difficult for

parents

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, who face financial burdens, to keep their

children

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engaged in physical

activities

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

spend more

time

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being sedentary, with the amount of

time

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spent on screen increasing from 53 minutes at 12 months to over 150 minutes at three years old.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, outdoor play opportunities are

also

Linking Words

a concern

due to

Linking Words

safety issues, urbanization, and changes in

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

dynamics. To address

this

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issue, the government should build more high-quality themed

children

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's parks to encourage outdoor

activities

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and ensure safety for kids.

Parents

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play a crucial role in

modeling

Change the spelling

modelling

show examples

healthy

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

for the next generation to mitigate these problems.

Parents

Use synonyms

should encourage their

children

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to engage in outdoor

activities

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like sports or art clubs to limit screen

time

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. They could

also

Linking Words

participate in outdoor

activities

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with their

children

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during the weekend,

thus

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strengthening their family bond and setting a good example.

Additionally

Linking Words

parents

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could encourage their

children

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to walk or bike to school if it is just a short distance. In conclusion,

while

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it is true that watching television is not too harmful to youngsters,

children

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need to engage in physical activity for healthy development. Adults are responsible for inspiring and guiding them towards healthier habits.

channguyenhon6Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure throughout the essay. You can improve by connecting your ideas more fluidly, making sure each paragraph seamlessly leads into the next.

coherence cohesion

While an introduction and conclusion were present, aim to make your conclusion a summary that reinforces your essay's main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with deeper analysis and a wider range of examples. Use specific evidence and data where possible to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

It is critical to fully respond to all parts of the task. While the essay addresses the questions, try to provide a more in-depth exploration of the reasons behind the statement.

task achievement

Strive to express clear and comprehensive ideas, ensuring each paragraph has a central concept that is well explained and supported.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. Examples should be detailed and directly linked to your arguments for a more effective essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

accessibility
content
digital platforms
on-demand streaming services
babysitting
marketing
urban environments
structured screen time
physical activity
treasure hunts
educational campaigns
curriculum
after-school sports programs
gamification
fitness apps

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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people say that space tourism will be developed in the future. What do you think space travel is positive or negative a development?

You have recently moved to different house. Write a letter to an English speaking, friend. In your letter. Explain why you have moved Describe the new house Invite your friend to come and visit

The internet could revolutionize the world in the future, if everyone could have easy access to all information that is available on the World Wide Web. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the work. To what extend do you agree or disagree?