Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

#children #television #activity #levels #case #measures

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some believe that

children

Use synonyms

today spend considerably more

time

Use synonyms

watching television than previous generations, leading to decreased physical activity levels. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement, and the following essay will discuss and recommend a few methods to address

this

Linking Words

issue. The busy lifestyle created by the bombardment of technology has made it difficult for

parents

Use synonyms

, who face financial burdens, to keep their

children

Use synonyms

engaged in physical

activities

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

spend more

time

Use synonyms

being sedentary, with the amount of

time

Use synonyms

spent on screen increasing from 53 minutes at 12 months to over 150 minutes at three years old.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, outdoor play opportunities are

also

Linking Words

a concern

due to

Linking Words

safety issues, urbanization, and changes in

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

dynamics. To address

this

Linking Words

issue, the government should build more high-quality themed

children

Use synonyms

's parks to encourage outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

and ensure safety for kids.

Parents

Use synonyms

play a crucial role in

modeling

Change the spelling

modelling

show examples

healthy

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

for the next generation to mitigate these problems.

Parents

Use synonyms

should encourage their

children

Use synonyms

to engage in outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

like sports or art clubs to limit screen

time

Use synonyms

. They could

also

Linking Words

participate in outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

with their

children

Use synonyms

during the weekend,

thus

Linking Words

strengthening their family bond and setting a good example.

Additionally

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

could encourage their

children

Use synonyms

to walk or bike to school if it is just a short distance. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

it is true that watching television is not too harmful to youngsters,

children

Use synonyms

need to engage in physical activity for healthy development. Adults are responsible for inspiring and guiding them towards healthier habits.

Submitted by channguyenhon6 on Thu Dec 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure throughout the essay. You can improve by connecting your ideas more fluidly, making sure each paragraph seamlessly leads into the next.

coherence cohesion

While an introduction and conclusion were present, aim to make your conclusion a summary that reinforces your essay's main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with deeper analysis and a wider range of examples. Use specific evidence and data where possible to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

It is critical to fully respond to all parts of the task. While the essay addresses the questions, try to provide a more in-depth exploration of the reasons behind the statement.

task achievement

Strive to express clear and comprehensive ideas, ensuring each paragraph has a central concept that is well explained and supported.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. Examples should be detailed and directly linked to your arguments for a more effective essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

accessibility
content
digital platforms
on-demand streaming services
babysitting
marketing
urban environments
structured screen time
physical activity
treasure hunts
educational campaigns
curriculum
after-school sports programs
gamification
fitness apps

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?
Whether teamwork or solitary activities can teach an individual more vital life skills is a topic that deserves some analysis. While acknowledging the advantageous skills that solo work can bring about, this writer believes that the evidence is on the side of those who think that more valuable skills can be learned through group activities.
7
band
It has often been suggested that the reintroduction of capital punishment would deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime. What is your view? Do you think that capital punishment should be reinstated?
There is consensus regarding implementing capital law to prevent serious crimes. However, I find myself in strong disagreement with this approach as it may not be a certain solution.
8
band
Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivating of committing it should always be taken account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion
Debate whether fixed sentencing should apply to all crimes or individual circumstances should be considered before any action has been ongoing for a long time. While some advocate for pre-written penalties to promote a sense of fairness and consistency, others argue that human behaviour is too complex; therefore, making a decision is not easy. This essay will explore both perspectives before offering my idea.
7.5
band
Some people say that children should be involved in making schools' rules. Some argue that adults should be in charge of making rules. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Arguing to create a school’s policy is important today. The public says that students should be included in making rules at school. Others believe that producing the policy is the responsibility of teachers or parents. I think that youngsters must be involved in establishing some policies at school in order to improve their abilities.
8.5
band
You recently attended a meeting at a hotel. When you returned home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter say where you think you left the papers explain why they are so important tell the manager what you want him/her to do
I hope this letter finds you well. I recently stayed at your hotel from August 3 to 8 for a business trip. and I had a pleasant experience. However, upon returning home, I realized that I left behind some important papers in my room, Room 113.

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?

It has often been suggested that the reintroduction of capital punishment would deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime. What is your view? Do you think that capital punishment should be reinstated?

Some people say that children should be involved in making schools' rules. Some argue that adults should be in charge of making rules. Discuss both view and give your opinion.