some people claim that the media has a negetive influence on contemporary society. They think that there is very little tolerance for new ideas because of its impact. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is often argued that the
media
has affected society
in a negetive
way and made our diverse world too uniform. From Correct your spelling
negative
mu
perspective, It seems absurd since Correct your spelling
my
culture
has been diversified by the positive influence of media
because it has boradened
Correct your spelling
broadened
people
's overall
outlook and made society
more interesting.
To begin
with, the media
has helped develop tolerance for different ways of thinking. In the past, many people
were not aware of Correct article usage
the traditons
traditons
and values of other societies. Correct your spelling
traditions
However
, we now know so much more about the world because of various types of media
. For example
, people
now have access to movies and documentaries that depict ways of life in different countries. This
has led not to a simplication
of cultures but to a more accepting attitude toward the ideas and values of Correct your spelling
simplification
people
from other backgrounds. This
creates a more diverse and open-minded society
.
On top of that, the media
has made culture
more diverse by helping to develop new and original trends in society
. It acts as a versatile medium that allows art and identity to come together and to
become more innovative and modern. Fix the infinitive
apply
For instance
, take street fashion in Japan. After seeing a variety of American culture
depicted on TV, Japanese teens merged Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
theri
fashions with those popular in America. Correct your spelling
their
there
As a result
, a new type of clothing style that included elements from both cultures was born. This
illustrates how the media
can allow distinct and creative trends to emerge.
In conclusion, the media
has been
a crucial role Verb problem
played
on
Change preposition
in
society
by opening the world up to new ideas and making culture
more exciting. For these reasons, the media
's effect on society
has been positive rather than negative.Submitted by jihyei0910 on
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure that all spelling errors are corrected. Specifically, the word 'negetive' should be corrected to 'negative,' and 'boradened' should be 'broadened.' Minor spelling mistakes can detract from the overall quality.
task achievement
Consider adding a sentence or two that acknowledges the opposing view more explicitly, before explaining why you disagree with it. This can present a more balanced argument, showing a comprehensive understanding of different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
For improved coherence and cohesion, make sure transitions between sentences and paragraphs are completely smooth. Linking phrases between main ideas and examples could be clearer, providing a more seamless flow of information.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded response to the prompt, addressing the role of media on society both historically and in contemporary settings. This demonstrates a complete and insightful approach to the task.
task achievement
The examples given, such as the effect of media on fashion trends in Japan, are particularly strong and relevant. They vividly illustrate the points and are supported by details, enhancing the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, providing clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs that effectively encapsulate the main thesis and sum up the arguments. This helps in logically framing the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?