There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
In the present day, there is a diverse spectrum of melodic genres that symbolize cultural diversity.
This
article contends that the vast majority of people
enjoy hearing music
because it offers them joy and that traditional music
is more important to a nation than foreign music
.
The primary purpose for which people
need music
is to be entertained. This
means that listening to a variety of music
can have the power to alter our mood and link us to everyone. In Indonesia, for example
, certain individuals attend musical performances on the weekends, whereas
others simply listen to tunes at home for stimulation. Thus
, it's obvious that hearing songs and musical instruments is mostly motivated by happiness.
It has always been debated whether a country's style should be traditional or cosmopolitan. I believe the former is superior to the latter since it contains local values and wisdom that the people
can learn about their own culture. Traditional music
's legacy is cultural in a sense, in addition
to strengthening our ties to the past. For example
, gamelan, an Indonesian traditional ensemble, has been played by Javanese musicians with specific expertise, such
as the Javanese language, since the 16th century AD. It is regarded as the most ideal means for introducing the moral principles and culture of the Javanese way of thinking. In contrast
, because international music
is notably commercialized by the business sector, the international melody that can be heard in every area of the world is mainly for entertainment and business reasons. Furthermore
, cultural variations hurt adolescents to some extent. As a result
, traditional music
has grown in importance, and governments should safeguard it.
In conclusion, there are several melodious types that people
can easily listen to. The primary objective of listening to them is to achieve happiness. Although
the worldwide melody is more popular and easy to hear, I believe the traditional melody is of greater significance for a country because of its cultural values and comprehension.Submitted by minhngoc26052004 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which positively contributes to the coherence. However, the logical flow can be improved by providing more explicit transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported throughout but some examples lack sufficient detail. Provide more specific examples and elaborate on how they support your main points.
task achievement
The response to the task is adequate and you address all parts of the prompt. However, balance the discussion between traditional and international music with more equal consideration and provide a deeper analysis of the question's aspects.
task achievement
To enhance clarity and comprehensiveness, focus on developing arguments with complexity and depth. Address potential counterarguments to create a more balanced essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?