Some people think that in modern society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other, while others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In an ever-progressive society, there is an emergence of civilians who are reliant on their partners and vice versa. In
this
writer’s perspective, individuals can completely address the task without any assistance Linking Words
due to
technological advancements Linking Words
as well as
concentration, despite those who go for interdependence since it can fulfil their needs.
It should be apprehended that humans are constantly ameliorating the technological devices which play a key role in Linking Words
this
era. Indeed, not only the bulk of people can actively learn by themselves Linking Words
instead
of enquiring for help since Linking Words
this
development will let learners access the section of references and the plethora of information they are seeking, but Linking Words
also
the task can be worked in at any time owning to the wireless connection installed in each of technological item. Linking Words
For example
, during the Covid 19 pandemic, the rate of being infected through respiratory is remarkable, so a myriad of people have to take advantage of sophisticated technologies to work independently in order to ensure their health.
Linking Words
Nonetheless
, there are negligible groups of citizens who assume that interdependence predominates over individualism on the grounds of meeting requirements. Linking Words
This
is Linking Words
due to
the fact that no single person is able to have thrived for the whole life Linking Words
while
none of the assistance is received. To clarify Linking Words
this
point, envisaging a particular nation, which is isolated from others, tends to possess a drop in economy alongside the shelter aspects as there are not any relationships to another region so as for either trading or manufacturing. Linking Words
Hence
, it is easy to understand why there are wide ranges of multinational organizations established in every part of the world.
Personally, Linking Words
this
writer argues that working solitarily is capable of optimizing the focus on the tasks. To put it simply, gathering in a group can create noise from exchanging information which contributes to the distraction, meanwhile, working alone demands brainstorming but the atmosphere is tranquil. Linking Words
As a consequence
, solitary workers can sometimes come up with initiatives, leading to the creativity accumulated through the endeavours in each assignment, simultaneously, guiding them to a closer step to job prospects.
Taking all into account, individuals ought to get acquainted with solitary working by virtue of technological developments with concentration. Linking Words
Thus
, working alone will be beneficial in comparison with the multiple oneLinking Words
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences contribute to this idea. Currently, some paragraphs seem a bit disjointed.
coherence cohesion
Try using more simple and direct language to communicate your ideas effectively. Some sentences are overly complex, making them difficult to understand.
coherence cohesion
Your essay tends to have some redundancies and over-complicated expressions. Simplify your language to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Your discussions on both sides of the argument are well-presented, but you should aim for more specific examples to support your points. This will add depth to your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure your response is balanced. The arguments for independence are more thoroughly discussed than those for interdependence, which makes your essay seem slightly biased.
task achievement
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay. Some parts of your essay feel repetitive and monotonous.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame your arguments.
task achievement
You show a capacity to discuss both sides of the argument, which indicates a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have attempted to support your points with examples, which is a good practice in essay writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.