In many countries, people have health problems because they chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and solutions?

#countries #people #health #lifestyle

I think nowadays

people

are so busy with their career

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

. It makes them have no time to do healthy things. They would rather choose to order fast food and they

also

have no

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

to do some exercises.

Besides

that, technology has developed so well that everyone keeps playing social media. They spend most of their

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

scrolling updated news. It is important to live healthy life

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because we have experienced covid 19. It was just so bad that it caused so many

people

died

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to die

show examples

, we could go nowhere and so many

people

lost their jobs.

This

is just so

cruicial

Correct your spelling

crucial

that we must care about

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

life. We won't want the same case like

covid

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

or maybe

worse

Correct article usage

a worse

show examples

virus to appear. It would be great if every school,

offices

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office

show examples

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

government

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

educate

people

about the way to live

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a healthy life. They can provide free classes where doctors and

nutritionals

Correct your spelling

nutritionists

would give lectures on certain health issues and how they can solve

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. The government

also

can give some rewards to the ones who succeed

to reach

Change preposition

in reaching

show examples

the goals of

the

Correct article usage

show examples

healthy lifestyle.

Then

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apply

show examples

making organic food cheaper would

also

help them to choose to consume it. I am sure that when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

are motivated, they can choose the right way to live in healthy lifestyle.

Submitted by audiangela07 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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clarity

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

223 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
technological advancements
fast food
processed food
dietary choices
stressful work environments
neglect
health education
consequences
advertising
health programs
active living
policies
availability
nutrition studies
conducive environments
pedestrian areas
media campaigns
healthy lifestyle
risks

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In many countries, people have health problems because they chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life

Many museums charge for admission while others ate free. Do you think that the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?