There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary
world
, globalisation has been becoming integrated in
all processes in today's life. It gives many benefits for Change the preposition
into
with
internetional
trades and making strong bonds between Correct your spelling
international
continets
. I strongly agree thatCorrect your spelling
continents
,
Remove the comma
apply
this
process can help in creation
Correct article usage
the creation
a
new Change preposition
of a
world
as a global village. However
, many claim that it can also
has
hidden demerits, which I am going to explain Change the verb form
have
further
.
First and foremost, there are many positive outcomes which are given by globalistion
. It is hard to imagine a place in the whole Correct your spelling
globalisation
globalization
world
without international trade opportunities and multinational corporations. Furthermore
, many work places
and factories are created Correct your spelling
workplaces
due to
the
globalisation. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, the profits are rising and econimical
benefits can be seen. Correct your spelling
economical
economic
In addition
, cultural exchange and the spread of advances in technology have grown immensely.To be more precise, McDonnald's
, Samsung, Apple and Toyota are Correct your spelling
McDonald's
ditributed
in the majority Correct your spelling
distributed
countries
.
Having said that, the benefits cannot be underestimated. Change preposition
of countries
Internetional
trade is rising Correct your spelling
International
throuhout
the globe. Correct your spelling
throughout
On the other hand
, some downsides are shown such
as enviromental
issues Correct your spelling
environmental
as well as
cultural homogenisation. The aforementioned companies have had a great impact on the
global warming and Correct article usage
apply
green house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
gases
emissions. Change the noun form
gas
Also
, small unique communities in Amazonian
forest and local tribes in Africa have lost their Correct article usage
the Amazonian
genuinity
.
In conclusion, it is undeniable fact that globalisation is an engine of Correct your spelling
genuineness
the
progress and cannot be stopped. I utterly believe thatCorrect article usage
apply
,
only Remove the comma
apply
in
advances in Change preposition
apply
technologies
and Fix the agreement mistake
technology
world
trade market are our future, but it has to be controlled by governments in order to preserve local heritage.Correct article usage
the world
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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while the essay structure is present with an introduction, body, and conclusion, the logical flow is somewhat hindered by grammatical inaccuracies and unclear transition phrases. To improve, focus on ensuring that paragraphs flow smoothly from one idea to another by using more effective transitional phrases and checking for correct sentence constructions. Additionally, varying sentence structures can help create more nuanced and engaging arguments.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, you addressed the topic and provided your opinion along with supporting arguments. However, the task response could be elevated by offering a more balanced view and expanding on how globalisation's benefits and drawbacks directly relate to the notion of 'standing in the way of progress'. Provide a more detailed analysis by referencing specific impact studies or statistics to solidify your points. Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed comprehensively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example