There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary
world
, globalisation has been becoming integrated
in
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into
with
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all processes in today's life. It gives many benefits for
internetional
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international
trades and making strong bonds between
continets
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continents
. I strongly agree that
,
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apply
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this
process can help in
creation
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the creation
show examples
a
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of a
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new
world
as a global village.
However
, many claim that it can
also
has
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have
show examples
hidden demerits, which I am going to explain
further
. First and foremost, there are many positive outcomes which are given by
globalistion
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globalisation
globalization
. It is hard to imagine a place in the whole
world
without international trade opportunities and multinational corporations.
Furthermore
, many
work places
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workplaces
show examples
and factories are created
due to
the
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apply
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globalisation.
As a result
, the profits are rising and
econimical
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economical
economic
benefits can be seen.
In addition
, cultural exchange and the spread of advances in technology have grown immensely.To be more precise,
McDonnald's
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McDonald's
, Samsung, Apple and Toyota are
ditributed
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distributed
in the majority
countries
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of countries
show examples
. Having said that, the benefits cannot be underestimated.
Internetional
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International
trade is rising
throuhout
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throughout
the globe.
On the other hand
, some downsides are shown
such
as
enviromental
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environmental
issues
as well as
cultural homogenisation. The aforementioned companies have had a great impact on
the
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apply
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global warming and
green house
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greenhouse
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gases
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gas
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emissions.
Also
, small unique communities in
Amazonian
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the Amazonian
show examples
forest and local tribes in Africa have lost their
genuinity
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genuineness
. In conclusion, it is undeniable fact that globalisation is an engine of
the
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apply
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progress and cannot be stopped. I utterly believe that
,
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apply
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only
in
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apply
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advances in
technologies
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technology
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and
world
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the world
show examples
trade market are our future, but it has to be controlled by governments in order to preserve local heritage.
Submitted by roker123456 on

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while the essay structure is present with an introduction, body, and conclusion, the logical flow is somewhat hindered by grammatical inaccuracies and unclear transition phrases. To improve, focus on ensuring that paragraphs flow smoothly from one idea to another by using more effective transitional phrases and checking for correct sentence constructions. Additionally, varying sentence structures can help create more nuanced and engaging arguments.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, you addressed the topic and provided your opinion along with supporting arguments. However, the task response could be elevated by offering a more balanced view and expanding on how globalisation's benefits and drawbacks directly relate to the notion of 'standing in the way of progress'. Provide a more detailed analysis by referencing specific impact studies or statistics to solidify your points. Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed comprehensively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international trade
  • cultural homogenization
  • multinational corporations
  • sustainable development
  • economic disparities
  • technological advancement
  • cultural exchange
  • scrutinize
  • ethics
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • protectionism
  • outsourcing
  • free market
  • trade liberalization
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