The unlimited use of cars may cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

In
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
modern era,
due to
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
advancements, it is undeniable that there are many modes of transport that are
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
by individuals, especially
cars
.
However
, the unlimited usage of
cars
may cause some adverse impacts to society. Because of these circumstances, the government and
NGO
Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
show examples
should be worked together to address it.
This
essay will emphasize my thoughts in subsequent paragraphs.
Firstly
,
it is clear that
private
cars
may have various negative effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
our environment. The
carbondioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
carbon-dioxide
which is produced from its fuel may cause air pollution.
Secondly
, if many people use their own vehicle, of course, the traffic will be crowded. It will have a serious impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
one's well-being.
Thirdly
,
vunerable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
people will have
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
health issues, especially asthma or pneumonia, because of heavy
pollutan
Correct your spelling
pollutant
pollution
. There are so many instances that are happening in
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
countries. As a matter of fact, China struggled with
this
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
for a decade. In 2015, the sky of China's urban areas
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
grey because of car
pollutan
Correct your spelling
pollutant
pollution
pollutants
. Many citizens were struggling with respiration problems.
As a result
, their government had built
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper public transportation around several big cities.
This
facility gained a good response from
their resident
Fix the agreement mistake
its residents
show examples
. Many of them left their
cars
and they moved to public transport. After that, the sky
has
Verb problem
became
show examples
clearer and clearer. In conclusion, the unlimited of
cars
may cause environmental problems which lead to climate change.
Moreover
, to tackle
this
issue, the government and
NGO
Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
show examples
should take an essential solution,
such
as
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
more public transportation,
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
a policy, and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
the production of
cars
.
Submitted by buatfotonyaheidy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are well-developed and fully elaborate on the main points.
coherence cohesion
Introduction should clearly paraphrase the question with thesis statement and outline sentence.
coherence cohesion
Each body paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices accurately and appropriately across the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address the question throughout the essay, maintaining focus on the problems caused by cars and the discussion on discouraging their use.
task achievement
Develop your arguments more thoroughly with clear comprehensive ideas and explanations.
task achievement
Include more relevant specific examples to support your points and illustrate your ideas effectively.
Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: