The table shows the proportions of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

The table shows the proportions of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.
The chart depicts the amount of revenue that the crowd spent on 4 everyday items in the UK in 1998. To start with, People who like to eat and listen to
music
spend a great percentage of money in his category.
Although
food was shown to be more popular than
music
,
consequently
1\4 adults gave their money to their stomach,
which
Correct your spelling
with
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women
had
Wrong verb form
having
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more addiction than men(39% and 14%).
However
, Children seemed less likely to pay for the food than adults which was approximately 10%. At that time, 5% of dwellers unwind
while
listening to the
music
.
Nonetheless
, teenagers had
a
Change the article
an
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interest compared to adults(around 40%) .
By contrast
, The population who were into making videos and taking clips were not over 3%, despite of, youngstres who had a passion to contribute videos were 12%, respectively.
Furthermore
, tech equipments were out of fashion, drastically 5% and 23%.
Overall
, as can be vividly seen from the chart, A number of people got pleasured in terms of spending money on
music
and food.
Nevertheless
, other
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
were less likely by persons.
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words music with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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