According to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourists in the 1960s and 70s, they return home with no experience of the local culture. Why do you think this happens? How was tourism different in the past?
An international magazine shows that nowadays many travelers book plane tickets to fly straight to their destination and do not
almost
go out during their vacation. Rephrase
apply
On the contrary
, in the 1960s and ‘70s, travelers
often experienced and explored a lot of things so they had memorial memories. In my opinion, I think that we can do anything as long as we feel comfortable and chill out during a trip.
Earlier, tourists often Change the spelling
travellers
traveled
to discover many things and meet local people except to relax. Because they did not develop technical advances, tourists did not have Change the spelling
travelled
smart phones
so they wanted to hang out with Correct your spelling
smartphones
friends
or family. They could visit beautiful places, take photos, go sightseeing or enjoy delicious foods and drinks. In addition
, they also
met local people and lived with them during travel time. Also
, when they went home, they would have a lot of good memories and added many friends
.
At the
present, most people like to fly straight to a Correct article usage
apply
resort
because they want to relax after long, hard-working or studying days. For example
, in Viet Nam
, office staff or workers just have Correct your spelling
Vietnam
Lunar
New Year, which is the longest day off, so they want to find locations which bring them comfort and reduce stress. Correct article usage
the Lunar
Besides
, because
the Correct word choice
apply
resort
supplies everything from foods
and drinks to Fix the agreement mistake
food
sport
or somewhere Wrong verb form
sports
travelers
can visit or take photos. The Change the spelling
travellers
resort
also
provides good staff and receptionists who schedule clearly to help them during the trip. In addition
, some tourists like private travel with their family or friends
. That is
why they choose resort
as it is all modern conveniences. They do not need to go out to contact or make Correct article usage
the resort
friends
with someone, instead
they spend that time Add a comma
instead,
for
family or Change preposition
with
friends
.
In conclusion, each
time period, each person will have different thoughts so they will have different experiences. In my opinion, I think that everyone’s purpose is relaxation and satisfaction.Change preposition
in each
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coherence cohesion
The essay does not have clear paragraphing and the ideas are not well-organized which affects the logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and the supporting sentences are directly related to it.
coherence cohesion
Include an introductory sentence that paraphrases the question and a conclusion that summarizes the main points. Both elements are underdeveloped in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand the main points with clear examples and explanations to support them. The essay lacks depth in the development of ideas.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete as the differences between past and present tourism are not well explored. More detailed comparisons and reasons must be provided to fully address the prompt.
task achievement
Ideas need to be clearer and more comprehensive. Strive for clarity of expression and ensure that all parts of the prompt are directly addressed with relevant points.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples to illustrate the points made about contemporary and historical tourism trends. Including such examples will make the argument more persuasive and complete.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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