The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The standard number of healthy communities seems to be down from right now in the future. I personally agree with

this

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statement to some extent. On one hand, many families in

this

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modern era do not fully pay attention to their well-being problems. The ingredients of foods and drinks that they consume do not become an important consideration when choosing what they want to eat.

This

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is making many public go to the hospital because of many health issues that appear from human lack of awareness.

For example

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, many populations right now do dialysis

due to

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some fitness problems and it is not only the old population but

also

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young children, one of the reasons

this

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thing happens is higher sugar consumption in daily life.

On the other hand

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, a healthier lifestyle movement has happened in some countries but there are still a lot of people who are not aware of

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. Many people think that exercise is not necessary for their life. So, the level of people who implement a healthy lifestyle is still low.

Furthermore

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, to realize high health figures in the country, the government should take on the role of helping society.

Such

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makes the regulation for the company in making the ingredients of food and drinks follow strength standards. In conclusion, if we want to realize a healthier future for us, we should have high awareness and

also

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remind society around us. In

this

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case, all levels of society must contribute to the realization of the public's strength to run smoothly.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sat Dec 16 2023

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task achievement

Develop your ideas more comprehensively by providing more in-depth analysis and discussion. This will help convey your points more clearly and effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.

task achievement

You have made a good attempt to address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is that happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a professional fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

The diagram details the process of making smoked fish

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others, however, believe that it is a waste of money since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?