Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Some experts believe that, if a
country
is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth will not make citizens
any more satisfied, i totally agree with this
opinion, because not always money
can make happiness.
On the one hand, I agree with this
opinion because there are several reasons for it. Firstly
, the country
's economy
is not an important aspect as culture or safety to make citizens
satisfied. If the country
is not safe, but with a high economy
, it will not make people
satisfied, because people
’s life is much more expensive than money
and people
care more about their health and life than money
. Norway is a good example. Norway is the country
, where people
live with happiness, whereas
Norway’s economy
is not high. Last
year’s statistics showed that 95% of all citizens
in Norway were satisfied because of the environment and citizens
' kindness. Therefore
, not only a high economy
or money
can bring happiness.
On the other hand
, there are disadvantages to this
opinion. Firstly
, if the country
’s economy
is high, the salary will be high too and it make people
satisfied. People
can make themselves happy if they will buy new things. Nearly 70% of all people
often be halo when they buy new things, for example
, a new car. Because of this
aspect, people
can be satisfied with the country
where they live . Therefore
, Money
can satisfy people
, and the high economy
of the country
is the reason for this
.
In conclusion, I agree that the high economy
of the country
is not as important as health or safety, however
a high Add a comma
however,
economy
can make people
more pleased.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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Task Achievement
Work on providing a more balanced view. Make sure to explore both sides of the argument equally to strengthen your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance logical transitions between ideas with more linking words or phrases to guide readers through your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify complex ideas and aim to develop them fully to showcase your reasoning abilities.
Task Achievement
Led with a clear statement expressing your stance in the introduction, which engaged the reader.
Task Achievement
Provided a specific example about Norway, which illustrated your point effectively and added depth to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Included a definitive conclusion, summarizing your views well and tying your essay together.