IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that modern architecture has made cities more attractive in the last century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays the tendency of building more modern architecture is becoming extremely popular. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are sure that it may make
cities
Use synonyms
 and towns more attractive.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
 I believe that
this
Linking Words
 tendency is wrong and I disagree with the popularization of new buildings. First of all, these modern constructions lead to the fact that all the
cities
Use synonyms
 look similar, that’s why they are not unique and not attractive
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
. All megalopolises have the same skyscrapers and infrastructure so it is not very interesting to explore their streets and cultural places. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 all modern
cities
Use synonyms
 have no soul. If we compare the newest and the oldest towns, it is clear
to see
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that the second ones have more mysterious and attractive atmospheres,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 unique and important places, which are important for preserving the history of these
cities
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Suzdal has a lot of important and popular locations and it is easy to recognise
this
Linking Words
 town with only one photo. But as for New York,
people
Use synonyms
 couldn't identify
this
Linking Words
 city for sure because it’s not unique.
Secondly
Linking Words
, modern architecture is made with worse materials than ancient ones. Of course
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technologies are developing every day, but a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 complain about bad noise insulation, the spread of
bacterias
Fix the agreement mistake
bacteria
show examples
 and
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
 stability of the latest buildings. They are not interested in living there, especially
while
Linking Words
 these constructions are much more expensive than other ones.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 often prefer to live in a quiet district in an old building because they are completely satisfied with the price-quality ratio. In conclusion,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the popularization of modern architecture is not attractive
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 tendency can lead to urban deterioration because the construction of new buildings should be moderate.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay presents a clear opinion, consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging some potential benefits of modern architecture before stating your disagreement. This can help to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph structure is generally good, but ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence will enhance the logical flow and coherence of the essay. Make sure that every main point is clearly articulated from the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
In your examples, ensure that you provide a little more context or elaboration to illustrate your points. This will make your argument more compelling and comprehensive. For instance, discussing the historical significance of the architecture you mention can enrich your examples.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear stance and you maintain this opinion throughout your work, which is a strong element of task achievement.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, such as Suzdal and New York, which serve to illustrate your points effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern architecture
  • aesthetics
  • eco-friendly designs
  • sustainable materials
  • visual appeal
  • iconic landmarks
  • community interaction
  • urban planning
  • cultural heritage
  • urban vibrancy
  • functional design
  • skyscrapers
  • public spaces
  • historical buildings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: