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Band 4.5

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at schools nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#students #focus #attention #schools
Students
 today are having problems
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
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 attention in their courses. The main
cause
 for some is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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experiencing inadequate sleep which
stem
Change the verb form
stems
show examples
 from playing games too much
along with
 the monotonous
class
 which cannot engage
students
 to take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part
 in it. There are some possible measures
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
 be
done
Verb problem
taken
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 to deal with these problems including
involve
Verb problem
apply
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taking a nap as
part
 of
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
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 and
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducting
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a
Remove the article
apply
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fun learning. Commencing with focus problems by
students
, first and foremost, the reason is some
students
 witness an atrocious sleep because of a lack
time
Change preposition
of time
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 to
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 a rest. Internet nowadays are
part
 of everyone’s life including teenagers who are very addicted
by
Change preposition
to
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 some features
for instance
 internet game.
As a result
,
students
 mostly spend their night
to surf
Change the verb form
surfing
show examples
 in the internet game which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 exhaustion in the morning and difficult to follow the
class
. Another
cause
 is that uninteresting
class
 which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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students
 cannot follow the
class
 properly.
Students
 in science study,
for example
,
are not be
Change the verb form
are not
show examples
 able to focus and mostly will sleep because the
class
 is boring as the teachers cannot deliver the topics interactively. Some potential actions to address
this
 matter are
modify
Fix the infinitive
to modify
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 the curriculum which
include
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includes
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take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 a short siesta as
part
 of it and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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fun learning which
make
Verb problem
is
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 an ease of information acquisition process.
According to
Childhood
Correct article usage
the Childhood
show examples
 Education journal, having a rest
such
 as short a nap in school could help
students
 to be more fit and fresh as they can relieve and relax their body and mind as well. Having a happy process in learning,
moreover
, is crucial since it could persuade
students
 to participate in the
class
 and the transfer process of knowledge could be reached. In conclusion, having difficulty
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
 attention in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
classes can occur because of lack of sleep and tedious
class
 which could be overcome by several solutions
such
 as having time to take a nap in school and attractive
class
 which has playing-
while
-learning method.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear overview of the reasons and solutions you plan to discuss. In your conclusion, succinctly summarize your main points without introducing new information.
Paragraph Topic Sentences
Make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals to the reader what the paragraph will discuss. Follow this with support in the form of explanations, examples, or data.
Paragraphing and Transitions
Use paragraphing effectively. Each main point should have its own paragraph. Keep related ideas together and use appropriate transition words to link your ideas.
Task Response
Address all parts of the prompt. The essay should fully cover the reasons for the lack of attention in schools as well as possible solutions.
Idea Development
Clarify and develop your main ideas. Give detailed explanations and specific examples to support each point you make. Avoid overly general statements.
Lexical Resource and Grammar
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to demonstrate language proficiency. Avoid repetition and use synonyms where possible.
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