In some cultures, children are often toldthat they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of given children this message?

#cultures #children #toldthat #message

Parents in all worlds wish good things and high

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

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to their offspring and try to explain that the value

could

Wrong verb form

can

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be reached only by being persistent. On the one hand,

this

can empower

the

Correct article usage

apply

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young

kid

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kids

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however

, it can bring up some mental health problems, which can be carried

Change preposition

into

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their adult lives. People

said

Wrong verb form

say

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the

Correct your spelling

that

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younger individuals should study or work hard in order to be successful. There is no doubt that it is true. Typically, people who improve themself every day, get what they want. To give a good example, my sister had a math exam in a few weeks, but she didn’t believe in herself. I helped her with her problem and

as a

consequence

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consequence,

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she passed her exam with outstanding grades.

On the other hand

, many youngsters could face difficulty

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with

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a boring subject under parents’ pressure. Often parents would like their children to realize their own dreams from their childhood.

For instance

, my friend’s dream was to be an athlete but his family tried to improve his mathematics knowledge against his choice.

Subsequently

, my friend suffered because he was obligated to be excellent in an unpleasant subject and did not have the time to practice sports.

Moreover

, excessive parental pressure on youngsters can have harmful effects on their mental well-being leading to issues

such

as insomnia, psychological issues and even thoughts of self-destruction when they fail to meet the high expectations set for them. In conclusion, encouraging youngsters to put in a lot of effort can have both

favorable

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favourable

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and

unfavorable

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unfavourable

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effects. On the plus side, it can promote a positive outlook and a sense of purpose.

However

, it could

also

lead to unreasonable expectations and impacts on mental health.

Therefore

, it is crucial to maintain a balance between motivation and well-being

while

assisting children in reaching their goals.

Submitted by pnasywasina on Mon Dec 18 2023

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task achievement

While the essay presents the advantages and disadvantages of telling children that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough, improve by further expanding on these points with a more balanced discussion and deeper analysis.

coherence cohesion

For a stronger essay, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and the points made are explicitly connected back to the main question. Use cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some cultures, children are often toldthat they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of given children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You currently live in a rental apartment, and the noise from your neighbours disturbs you. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter describe how this situation affects you; explain what steps you have taken to address the problem; ask the landlord to take action to resolve the issue.

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweight the disadvantages?

Nowadays many people have easy access to computers and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games? What can be done about this problem?