IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many museums and historic sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than by local residents. What are the causes of this? What can be done for museums and historic sites to attract more local visitors?

#museums #sites #tourists #residents #visitors
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Over the
last
 two or three decades, historical
places
 have been unpopularised more tremendously among the population than ever before.
As a result
, many museums and historic
places
 are explored by tourists as compared to the local
inhabitants
. There are some reasons for
this
 tendency and there are some possible solutions to attract more local residents to
visit
 these
locations
.
This
 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some reasons for the local people do not like to
visit
 the historical
places
. One of the main cause is local population are too busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their everyday work
such
 as school, college and work. They do not have more time to explore these kinds of cultural heritage
locations
 as compared to the foreigners, the international visitors have more time on holidays time
while
 they have to
visit
 museums. Another reason is that the local community have more focus on entertainment based on activities like going to
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
, fun park and adventure
places
instead
 of the historical
locations
.
For example
, many Indians like to watch movies in
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every weekend but they do not like to
visit
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 cultural heritage
places
. There are some possible solutions to attract the locals
visit
Fix the infinitive
to visit
show examples
 museums. One of the
remedy
Change to a plural noun
remedies
show examples
 is the local authority should
be conducted
Wrong verb form
conduct
show examples
 innumerable presentations, exhibitions and
classroom
Fix the agreement mistake
classrooms
show examples
 in these
places
while
 locals might be explored in these venues.
For instance
, in Sri Lanka government encourages
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the local residents to
visit
these area
Change the determiner
this area
these areas
show examples
 by conducting exhibitions
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every month,
as a result
, their local
inhabitants
are visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 frequently without
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
boredom. Another remedy is the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 should
be provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
 entry pass to the local
inhabitants
 in order
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 more and more people
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
visit
 there
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
week end
Correct your spelling
the weekend
show examples
 holidays
instead
 of going cinema. These are the ways of attracting to
visit
 the
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 in the historical
places
.
To conclude
, the local populace
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 too busy and they like to take more entertainment activities are the main causes
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the local
inhabitants
 do not
visit
 the historical
places
 rather than foreigners. Free entrance
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
 and
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducting
show examples
presentation
Fix the agreement mistake
presentations
show examples
,
exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
show examples
 and
seminar
Fix the agreement mistake
seminars
show examples
 are the possible solutions to attract
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 will
visit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
locations
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the question without being too general or vague. Present a clear thesis statement outlining the causes and solutions you will discuss.
Task Response
When mentioning causes and solutions, provide more detailed examples that illustrate your points. These should be specific to the question and help clarify your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop paragraphs with a clear central point, and ensure all sentences within the paragraph support this main idea without deviating or introducing unrelated information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Employ a range of cohesive devices accurately and appropriately. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'another reason', use synonyms or refer back to the previous point to maintain cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Avoid repetitive structures and errors which can hinder the clear communication of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tourists
  • historic sites
  • culture
  • heritage
  • taken for granted
  • marketing and promotion
  • advertising
  • entry fees
  • incentives
  • educational programs
  • Local Appreciation Days
  • interactive exhibitions
  • immersive experiences
  • social media campaigns
  • community engagement
  • sense of ownership
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: