IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Dear Ali, I hope everything's going well and you're healthy. I read your letter, and I wanted to help you choose the best option. Actually, I think that going to university might limit your abilities. With regard to your skills, you are a practical person,
while
Linking Words
 university exposes you to academic knowledge.
This
Linking Words
 may not only fail to support your personal growth but
also
Linking Words
 deprive you of various unique opportunities that could contribute to building your career.
In addition
Linking Words
, your excellent critical thinking ability and creative personality are two crucial factors in today's business world. These strengths will empower you to achieve your goals, which is why I believe you should choose a job
instead
Linking Words
 of going to college. I truly believe that you can achieve countless successes in the AI field because of your powerful computer skills. Your creativity will
also
Linking Words
 ensure your success in the future and provide you with more job positions in
this
Linking Words
 field. I'm sure that one day we will see you in a high-ranking position. With regards, Mohammadreza

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas with better linking words to improve flow.
task achievement
Include a brief introduction to state your opinion more clearly at the beginning.
positive
Good job on using a friendly tone in your letter and maintaining it throughout.
positive
You have effectively highlighted your friend's strengths, which supports your advice.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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