At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
It is argued that the percentage of young adults in
this
modern era outnumbers the senior citizens. I firmly believe that this
condition has some positive benefits compared to its drawbacks since Generation Z has a creative mindset, is energetic, and is really passionate about technology.
To begin
with, people
in the age bracket of 15-26 years old are considered as generation Z which has some identical characteristics. Their ability to package something using their high creativity is quite shocking. For example
, they can create more videos on a social media platform such
as “TikTok”, which is currently happening and being used by people
all around the world. They manage to make their videos go viral by incorporating trends such
as dance moves released by K-pop idols. As a result
, after their videos went viral, their followers gaining
, until some Wrong verb form
gained
people
or even companies approached them to cooperate a promote the product through their social media. Thus
, it proves that young adults can adjust themselves using cutting-edge technologies as well as
they can earn money through them.
However
, elderly people
assert that Gen Z are
unstable when it comes to the state of their mind. They tend to have some bad habits that might affect their performance in the workplace. Change the verb form
is
For example
, they have a tendency to work based on their mood. Sometimes they are energetic and on other occasionsthey
can change themselves to be an active person in a short period of time. Correct your spelling
occasions they
As a result
, companies are really struggling to hire them or not.
To sum up
, I believe that despite their disadvantages, young adults can be reliable partners whether in workplaces or businesses since they possess several unique characteristics that older people
do not have, such
as creativity and adaptability to state-of-the-art technology.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Introduction: Provide a more direct response to the question posed. It's advised to explicitly state if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in your intro for a clearer argument.
task achievement
Body paragraphs: Develop your ideas more thoroughly. Though you've provided examples, deeper analysis and linking back to how these examples support your overall argument would strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Conclusion: Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your position on the overall question clearly and concisely. Add a conclusive statement that echoes your introduction for a more rounded argument.
coherence cohesion
Organization: Improve the logical flow by using more cohesive devices (such as moreover, nevertheless, thus) between sentences and paragraphs. This will guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Support for main points: Each main idea should be supported with more detailed examples or explanations. This includes more in-depth analysis of how specific characteristics of young adults (e.g., creativity, passion for technology) relate to the advantages you propose.
