Modern professional women confront a difficulty that men don’t generally face: the struggle to balance the pressures of work and home. In your opinion, how can this difficulty best be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own knowledges and experiences.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Women

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

is given a huge press. Nowadays, unlike past centuries,

women

Use synonyms

have equal rights just like men. They can

work

Use synonyms

outdoors and have a high social position just like men. Considering all of these achievements, there is

also

Linking Words

a huge problem: balancing the pressure of

work

Use synonyms

and home. Many people strive to find an answer to

this

Linking Words

question, but it seems confusing.

Initially

Linking Words

, we should not discriminate between two genders. A happy family is a compound of two essential elements: wife and husband.

According to

Linking Words

common beliefs, men are working hard

due to

Linking Words

their families. They are industrious, creative creatures who have utter power in their houses. On the flip side, females are fragile individuals who have to

work

Use synonyms

all the time at home and if they endeavor to have an occupation outdoors, it would be for their hobbies. As long as we observe females via

this

Linking Words

perspective, we should not try to find a solution to tackle

this

Linking Words

misunderstanding. The right approach in

this

Linking Words

case is public awareness about two genders to prevent other misconceptions.

In addition

Linking Words

to public awareness, the government should aid

women

Use synonyms

in handling their difficulties. It is an irrefutable fact that when we encounter a girl in any situation, we assume she is a poor, pathetic person who does not have any real position in our community because she has to bear responsibilities at

work

Use synonyms

and home all by herself. One of the most difficult situations for every woman is pregnancy. A pregnant girl has to shoulder a huge burden in her life, and just imagine no one- even the government- does not support her. I strongly believe that the governments should focus more on parental leave

due to

Linking Words

strengthen families. Helping girls in disparate positions is not only helpful for our society, but

also

Linking Words

will be an investment for upcoming generations.

Overall

Linking Words

, taking all these instances into consideration, having

women

Use synonyms

's backs through public awareness and via the government's ruling could be intensively beneficial and advantageous for our nation's future.

tg.persianMon Dec 18 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improvement Suggestions

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is noticeably unclear and your paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and complexity in structure. It is important to structure your essay with clear and distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences with examples or data, and finally, a concluding sentence that wraps up the main point of the paragraph.

coherence cohesion

You have made an attempt to introduce and conclude the essay, but the introduction does not clearly set out the thesis or overview of the response, and the conclusion does not sufficiently summarize the key points or restate your position in a clear manner. In your introduction, clearly state your thesis and outline the structure of your essay. The conclusion should restate your thesis and summarise the main points made in your essay, reassuring readers of the strength of your argument.

task achievement

Your essay provides some relevant ideas connected to the topic, but they are not always clearly expressed or fully developed. It is vital to create coherent and comprehensive paragraphs where each main point is not just stated, but also explained and supported by specific, relevant examples or arguments. Focus on elaborating each point thoroughly before moving on to the next.

task achievement

The response shows some relevance to the prompt but lacks specificity in examples and often resorts to generalizations and repeated ideas. It's important that the examples are not only relevant but they are also specific and drawn from real situations, statistics, studies, or personal experiences that directly support your argument or point of view. This specificity adds authenticity to your essay and strengthens your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
That the government should be responsible for the education of it's citizen while others feel that they shud pay for their own education. Discuss both views and give ur opinion
Education, like food and water, is a fundamental necessity for survival. While developed countries often provide free education for children, in many parts of the world, parents must bear the financial burden of schooling. This essay explores both perspectives and argues that governments should sponsor education up to a certain level.
7.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether skilled workers should be forced to work in their own countries or they should be free to go everywhere they aim for. While I understand why people should have such opinions, I believe that professionals must be free to choose their work.
7
band
A local college is having an international day. You want to speak about your country to students from different cultures. Write a letter to the college head. In your letter: Tell him/her about the topics that you are going to talk about Explain why would they be of interest to the students Ask about any arrangements that you need to make to give the talk
I am Nishi Prajapati, a student from Som Lalit College. I am studying.com from Som Lalith. I saw and posted about International Day held by HL College. I am writing this letter to participate in the international day and speak about my country to foreign students.
6.5
band
Task 1.2 The system used for rubbish or garbage collection in your local area is not working properly. It is causing problems for you and your neighbours. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter Describe how the rubbish collection system is not working Explain how this is affecting you and your neighbours Suggest what should be done about the problem Write at least 150 words.
I am writing you this letter because the garbage collection system has broken down in our area.
6.5
band
Intelligence is the most important factor for a leader. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are some who argue that the key determinant of successful leadership is intellectual ability. However, I strongly disagree with this perspective. In my opinion, interpersonal skills, soft skills, and charisma are qualities that, alongside intelligence, are essential for effective leadership.

Modern professional women confront a difficulty that men don’t generally face: the struggle to balance the pressures of work and home. In your opinion, how can this difficulty best be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own knowledges and experiences.

Improvement Suggestions

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

That the government should be responsible for the education of it's citizen while others feel that they shud pay for their own education. Discuss both views and give ur opinion

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Intelligence is the most important factor for a leader. To what extent do you agree or disagree?