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Writing Samples
Band 7

International travel is becoming cheaper, and more and more countries open their door to tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages?

#travel #countries #door #tourists #tourism
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It is true that global
tourism
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 has become inexpensive these days, and an increasing number of nations are freely allowing entry of tourists.
While
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 there are possible disadvantages associated with
this
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 trend, I think that the potential benefits of the growth in
tourism
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 outweigh its drawbacks. On the one hand, I accept that there are certain disadvantages related to the
increase
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 in
tourism
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. First of all, the rise in global travel has resulted in an unprecedented negative effect on the environment of Earth. It has led both to an
increase
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 in consumption of precious natural resources and to an
increase
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 in pollution levels.
Moreover
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,
Due to
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 the overcrowded nature of heritage sites, it has become harder to manage them properly.
As a result
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, it would harm these valuable historical sites through acts
such
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 as littering or graffiti.
On the other hand
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, I believe that some benefits are far stronger than the drawbacks mentioned above. First of all, international
tourism
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 has brought foreign currency to many Second and Third World countries by flourishing their economies. The growing
tourism
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 industry has provided millions of jobs worldwide.
In addition
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, owing to
tourism
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, people would easily get the opportunity to interact with others by immersing themselves in different cultures and religions.
Therefore
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, their understanding grows which promotes a sense of cultural harmony. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some downsides to the
increase
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 in
tourism
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, I ensure that
overall
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 it is a positive trend as it has benefitted both the economies and the culture of host nations.
Submitted by mohamadazhariazar on

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that connections between your main points and examples are clearly explained to enhance overall coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the main argument.
logical structure
Logical structure is clear, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported and your ideas are clearly presented.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • International travel
  • Economic boon
  • Cultural exchange
  • Infrastructure
  • Overcrowding
  • Environmental degradation
  • Cultural dilution
  • Economic dependency
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Revenue generation
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Preservation
  • Ecotourism
  • Quality of life
What to do next:
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