Numerous animal species worldwide are currently facing extinction. Some argue that countries and individuals should prioritize protecting these animals, while others believe resources should be focused more on human issues. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#species #extinction #argue #countries #individuals #prioritize #animals #resources

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Animal

extinction

Use synonyms

is considered a sensitive topic

that is

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widely publicized and discussed. At the same time, some people advocate that individuals and governments should take steps to save wildlife,

while

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others believe that funds should be used to improve the human condition. In

this

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article, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain why I support the first viewpoint. Species

extinction

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is a natural process, but not at the current rate.

For example

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, it is estimated that approximately 26,000 species are at risk of

extinction

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;

however

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, the exact number is difficult to determine.

Firstly

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, mass extinctions of organisms can disrupt the balance of ecosystems, making it vital to protect all living things on Earth.

Secondly

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, all animals play a crucial role in the food chain of an ecosystem.

For example

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, if grizzly bears become extinct, it will affect all other creatures that have ever interacted with them.

Furthermore

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, the main factors that affect biodiversity loss include overhunting, illegal hunting, deforestation, overpopulation, human habitation, and pollution.

Therefore

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, the cause of animal

extinction

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is a result of human actions.

Therefore

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, humans must take full responsibility for their actions and protect biological diversity. Alternatively, some may claim that human life is more important, and

this

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is undeniable.

For example

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, hundreds of people around the world suffer from malnutrition and poverty. Even so, a considerable amount of the budget today is spent on projects

such

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as space exploration. A better allocation of these funds would be used to improve life on our planet. All in all, I firmly believe that we should take all necessary steps to prevent species

extinction

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. In

this

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way, all living things can continue to exist for future generations.

Submitted by yuqingchen10 on Sun Dec 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

When writing an essay, it is important to present a clear and logical structure throughout. Your introduction and conclusion are present and set the stage for the essay, however, the body paragraphs need some improvement in maintaining a consistent focus. Ensure each paragraph centers around a single theme or argument to enhance the overall logical flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

The coherence of the main points in the body of your essay could be strengthened by providing clearer topic sentences and more transitions between ideas to guide your reader. Aim to use a variety of transitional phrases and specific examples to illustrate each argument clearly and effectively. This will build stronger connections between your points and ensure the reader can easily follow your reasoning.

task achievement

Your essay partially addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument and taking a clear position. However, to reach a higher band in task achievement, you should explore each viewpoint in more depth and support your ideas with stronger, more relevant examples. Every argument should be substantiated with robust evidence or illustrations to support the point being made, and this evidence should be directly related to the topic at hand.

task achievement

While you present some clear and comprehensive ideas, the development of some arguments was not consistently thorough or convincing. Developing each argument fully by explaining it and providing detailed examples or evidence can make your essay more compelling and improve clarity throughout.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score in task achievement, make sure to include relevant and specific examples in your essay. This is particularly important when discussing such a complex issue as animal extinction and how it relates to human welfare. Using specific examples not only strengthens your argument but also shows your ability to relate theoretical discussions to real-world situations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

endangered species
biodiversity
ecosystem
conservation
intrinsic value
sustainable practices
limited resources
poverty
disease
education
innovation
balanced approach
well-being

What to do next:

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Numerous animal species worldwide are currently facing extinction. Some argue that countries and individuals should prioritize protecting these animals, while others believe resources should be focused more on human issues. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Today, many people do not know their neighburs in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build homes in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have recently ordered an item from the internet, but are not happy with the purchase. Write to the company. In your letter •Describe what you purchased • Explain why you are not happy with the purchase • Tell them what you would like them to do about the situation