You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is said that people who accomplish their goals in life are largely influenced by
luck
. This
essay disagrees with that statement because luck
is just a small figure to become successful and hard work is the potential step for achieving aims.
To begin
with, it is true that luck
can be a determining factor in one's success. To explain, when children are born into good families, usually have more chances to succeed in the future, because their parents support them spiritually and financially. Thus
, wealthy parents can afford extracurricular classes for their children in high school so that their kids have more chances to be accepted into a high-rank university, a vital factor for success. For example
, wealthy families in Vietnam let their kids go to international schools for better education, another vital factor for success.
Nonetheless
, without any doubt, there are other factors which you need to reach your goals. A significant number of well-known people were born in poverty but they could fulfil their dreams with hard work. Furthermore
, you can make money with your skills, which is pivotal to reaching your aims. For instance
, Ronaldo, a famous football player was born into a poor family but because of his diligence and passion for soccer, he became one of the richest players in the world.
In conclusion, some factors like endeavour or expertness are the key to accomplishing our aims rather than having a good family, which is related to luck
.Submitted by baonhi260804 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay generally presents a logical structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve the flow and cohesion within the text.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, yet, they need to be more developed to effectively frame the essay and clearly communicate the main argument.
coherence cohesion
While main points are supported, the support could be further strengthened by developing the arguments in more depth and providing more varied examples.
task achievement
Your response to the task appears to be complete, but further exploration of the nuances of the topic would enhance the essay's depth, reflecting a higher degree of understanding and task achievement.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear, but at times they lack comprehensive development. Greater attention to detail and a more thorough explanation of your points would benefit the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
While you provide some relevant examples, incorporating a wider range of evidence and illustrations would better demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?