IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think city planners should create more green spaces and plant trees. Other believe that they should focus on building new home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #city #planners #spaces #plant #trees #focus #home
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It has been argued by many
people
Use synonyms
 that town architecture should leave space for green
areas
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 others deem that they ought to pay attention to constructing new buildings and
homes
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.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 believes that
city
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 designers have to keep greenery
areas
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 in mind
while
Linking Words
 designing a
city
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 plan.
To begin
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 with, cities are
homes
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 for thousands and millions of
people
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 who
are living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in them, and it is the right of
people
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 to have green
areas
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 with planted varieties of trees and weeds;
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, we can argue that it is the sole responsibility of town designers and planners to consider green
areas
Use synonyms
 in the initial stage of
city
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 planning.
This
Linking Words
essay
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 is in
fever
Add an article
a fever
the fever
show examples
 of making green
areas
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 compulsory during
city
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 planning.
For instance
Linking Words
, in our country, the
government
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 decided to build a new capital, and it has been suggested by citizens and the
government
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 to keep at least a 30% green area in the
overall
Linking Words
 project plan.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
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 prefer that there should be more buildings and
homes
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 for
people
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 to accommodate. Because
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cities around the world
are lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
show examples
homes
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 and residential
areas
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 for their
people
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;
as a result
Linking Words
, house rent is staggering and most
people
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 cannot find
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
affordable
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Canada, housing has become a major political issue for the
government
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, and even the
government
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 stopped temporary visa programs.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 deems that,
although
Linking Words
 there could be a housing crisis in a country, it should not undermine the importance of greener spaces. In conclusion, many
people
Use synonyms
 deem that
city
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 planners should be in
fever
Add an article
a fever
show examples
 of allocating and creating blooming regions,
while
Linking Words
 others only want that they should be building more houses. Having more green
areas
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
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to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
breathe fresh air, and it’s the right of every citizen to have a green place to go for a break.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the housing crisis could be a huge problem for many
people
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 and the
government
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, but the
essay
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 emphasizes having more green
areas
Use synonyms
 rather than more buildings and houses.
Submitted by am.edrees on

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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from further development of ideas and providing more comprehensive arguments in support of each viewpoint. Make sure to address both sides of the argument equally.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve sentence variety and flow to enhance the logical structure of your essay. Transitional phrases can help to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints as required by the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides an introduction and conclusion, contributing to a complete structure.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific examples, like the reference to Canada and the new capital in your country, strengthens your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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