The arts,including arts, music and theater are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

It is widely believed that the
arts
play an important part in society, enriching our personal lives by providing entertainment to all. Personally, I believe that even with the rise of many new forms of entertainment, traditional art forms still have a place in modern lifestyles for a variety of reasons. In my opinion, I wholeheartedly agree with the notion that modern society still has a place for the
arts
. One of the reasons for
this
is that the experience of engaging in these activities still remains unique, something that can't be replicated by the internet. The
arts
differentiate itself from other aspects of life in that its main purpose is to deeply resonate with the soul and emotions of a person.
This
means that each person will have a different interpretation of the same piece of work based on our individual experiences, something that can’t be found anywhere else. An example of
this
would be music, as each of us will have a different taste in music genres, artists and more, where part of the fun in enjoying music is listening to the same song from a different person's view, birthing the creation of fandom culture. Thanks to the importance of the
arts
, I do think that the
arts
should be included in schools' curricula for a variety of reasons.
Firstly
, by providing a chance for kids to become exposed to the
arts
, we can discover natural talents from a younger age and provide appropriate training to properly make use of the abilities of gifted individuals.
Secondly
,
due to
the enrichment and healing nature of the
arts
, these lessons can act as a break from more academically rigorous subjects, supporting student's mental health and well-being and increasing their learning efficiency in the process. In fact, research from Yale has pointed out that pupils studying creative
arts
subjects generally do better on their SAT by 10% when compared to students who don't. In conclusion, the
arts
play an important role in sustaining our mental well-being, as they can be considered as a form of expression for the soul, even in
this
modern society we live in.
Thus
, by implementing the teaching of these subjects in schools, we can provide kids with a full education, making use of both sides of the brain,
instead
of purely focusing on rational thinking and logical calculations.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout, though diving deeper into varied perspectives while maintaining your stance could enhance the depth of discussion.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are as specific and relevant as possible to the prompt given. While you mentioned research from Yale, directly linking it to the value of arts in modern lifestyles could be stronger.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion which aids in effective communication of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
To maintain a strong coherence, consider weaving your ideas more tightly. While your main points are supported, they often stand independently rather than interconnecting fluidly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: