In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.
Over the
last
half-century, the life expectancy of people
in the world has been rising due to
improved health care. This
means that in the world we have a huge population of older people
. This
situation has some merits and some pitfalls for the universe. In this
essay, I will explain both benefits and drawbacks of this
situation and also
I will share my viewpoint regarding this
topic.
On the one hand, it is a blessing for the
older Correct article usage
apply
people
as they have a huge time
after their retirement and they spend their time
and money according to
themselves as they can travel to new destinations.For instance
, aged people
in Canada always spend their time
in Victoria or some other island and they enjoy all
the rest of life by doing their favourite activities.Correct determiner usage
apply
Further
more, having grandparents can be a big favour for families as they are able to help busy parents with some tasks like picking up and dropping off children at school, buying groceries and many more.
Despite this
, there are many pitfalls of the increasing life expectancy as many of the aged people
have chronic illnesses like sugar, diabetes, obesity etc. which make them too sick and weak and they are unable to do their work and can be difficult for them as well as
for their families. Instead
of this
, most of the elderly people
are on their retirement and their pension benefits are coming from the taxes of the working class and can be burdened for them.
Overall
then
, I feel that the benefits of living older are clear, but these must be balanced against the implications for health and money. If living longer simply means chronic health complaints and grinding poverty for a longer time
, it is questionable as to whether it is an advantage at all.Submitted by sirat
on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure, which includes an introduction that sets the context and states the essay's goal, body paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and a logical progression of ideas, followed by a distinct conclusion summarizing the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your main points more fully. While your essay touches on the main advantages and disadvantages, it would benefit from further expansion and analysis to increase depth and insight.
Task Achievement
While the response includes an introduction and conclusion, it would strengthen the overall essay to have a more definitive statement of your own opinion in the conclusion. The opinion presented should be supported by the arguments made in the body of your essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more precise and pertinent examples to illustrate the points you are making. The use of examples adds credibility to your arguments and provides concrete evidence to support your viewpoints.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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