Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It has been frequently argued that physical strength is essential for sporting performance. Few masses opine mental fortitude is more vital. In
this
, essay I would like to shed light on both perspectives along with
my perspective in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, every individual needs a high level of mentally
fortitude. It is a spiritual medicine that does more than motivate you to train hard. Change the adverb
mental
Besides
, Psychological power helps us overcome failure, allowing us to rise and flourish. For example
, the problem with encouraging game
at school is that it fosters a competitive spirit among students, Fix the agreement mistake
games
instead
of teaching children simply to do the best that they can in all aspects of life.
On the other hand
, fitness is the cornerstone of accomplishment. Namely, Swimming, basketball, and soccer physically demanding sports; or rowing and horseback riding. I would argue that,
schools place too much value on athletics in the curriculum, and participation in diversion should be an out-of-school activity. Athletic poverty remains a problem in our country, I think thatRemove the comma
apply
,
Governments should provide Remove the comma
apply
perform
facilities to encourage more people to take up Replace the word
performance
sport
. In professional activity, it has become increasingly common to use illegal substances in order to win at all costs. Performance-enhancing drugs, which improve the ability of a sportsperson to compete, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
for instance
: Athletes who take are not only cheating, they also
set a bad example for young people. Furthermore
, being in good athletic form benefits our health. If people have a sedentary lifestyle, they must do regular exercise to get into shape.
In conclusion, physical and mental distribution both provide diverse benefits to humans and help us achieve victory. It seems to me that, It is possible to say that the spirit is the stepping stone and physical power is the basis.Submitted by quynhtranhbh on
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coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure could be improved. It seemed somewhat disjointed, and the argument did not progress smoothly between points. Ideas could be linked more effectively with transitions, giving the essay a clearer line of thought.
coherence cohesion
Although an introduction and conclusion were apparent, they could be more sharply defined to effectively encapsulate the essay's main points and the writer's opinion. The thesis statement should be more concise and clear.
coherence cohesion
Main points could be better supported with concrete evidence, such as statistics or research studies, to give the argument more weight. Personal examples and explanations could also strengthen individual points.
task achievement
Your response needs to fulfill all aspects of the task. In this essay, there is an attempt to discuss both views on physical versus mental strength in sports; however, the response could be more complete. Ensure you analyze both sides equally before discussing your opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. It is sometimes difficult to understand the exact point being made, so clarity would improve the impact of the essay. Simplify your sentences if complexity compromises understanding.
task achievement
The essay would benefit greatly from more relevant and specific examples directly connected to the sports and mental strength discussion. This could include well-known athletes, sports psychologists' findings, or historical events in sports.