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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#life #cycle #salmon #egg #adult #fish #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram illustrates the reproduction and growth of the
salmon
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the development of the
salmon
Use synonyms
cyclical
Add a missing verb
is cyclical
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 and has several stages from egg incubation to the adult fish. As can be seen from the diagram, salmons start their life in the river to produce eggs. The fertile eggs
subsequently
Linking Words
 experience an incubation before they hatch to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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baby
salmon
Use synonyms
. The baby
salmon
Use synonyms
 remains in the river and after
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
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 certain
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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 they will do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
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water
Use synonyms
 rearing.
Afer
Correct your spelling
After
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salmon
Use synonyms
 reach
certain
Add an article
a certain
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 size, they will migrate to the estuary area which is the concoction of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 and salt
water
Use synonyms
 to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the habitat before they are ready to rear in the open sea. As regards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ocean life, the migration starts when they have reached
certain
Add an article
a certain
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 length. In the ocean,
salmon
Use synonyms
 will encounter
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growth and maturation before they are ready for
matting
Add an article
the matting
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 process. Adult
salmon
Use synonyms
 is moving to
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
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water
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 in order to match with other male/female adult salmons. In the river they will do a spawning process to produce
egss
Correct your spelling
eggs
 and the whole process
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 again.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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