Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #media #privacy #price #fame #invasion #life

Nowadays many

people

believe that the way the media treat famous

people

is unfair and they should be able to have some privacy, other

people

on the other hand

, think that

this

is the price of their fame.In

this

essay, we will discuss how most of the paparazzi act in front of a VIP and how

this

can result in bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Firstly

, Is a common opinion that the media has no problem revealing any secret or gossip about the most famous person at that moment, a good example could be when the globally known singer Justin Bieber

has been

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

unfairly accused of harassment in 2017.

Secondly

, it is undeniable that everyone is entitled to some basic human rights and being able to walk from a building to their car without being assaulted by photographers is one of them.

On the other hand

, it is correct to believe that all that fame and money have an expensive price. Without all the gossip, reliable or not, those

people

might not be as famous as they are, in fact, the actor Ezra Miller was mostly unknown before the 2021 scandal.

In addition

mentioning

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Dr. Smith, a famous psychologist, at least 9 stars out of 10 who have been assaulted by a reporter noticed a pitch of popularity never experienced before. In conclusion, despite the fact that Fame has a big price, it is important to protect everyone's rights no matter if they are a plumber, a

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

or a singer. No one can ever take

this

freedom away, or quoting Dr Smith "is a point of no return"

Submitted by ste.deblasi.97 on Wed Dec 20 2023

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Task Response

While the essay presents a clear position and discusses both views, the argument could be more fully extended and developed with additional supporting detail. Each paragraph would benefit from more specific examples and clearer explanation of points.

Coherence and Cohesion

The text demonstrates a clear structure, with separate paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices could be improved to demonstrate a more sophisticated control of the language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The percentage of adults in urban and rural areas who engaged in four leisure activities between 1990 and 2010 is depicted in the graph below.

In some counties an increasing number of people are suffering from health promblems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

in the future, more and more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree.

Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?