In many countries, young people are finding it harder to get work. What do you think are the main causes of this? What effect might this have in the future?

#countries #people #work #effect #future

Nowadays, everyone clearly has to work hard to survive in the tough world and feed themselves.

However

, it is undeniable that young

people

are finding it harder to get a job recently. There can be lots of reasons causing

this

to happen,

as well as

the side effects of those reasons. One of the reasons

this

may happen is the advanced

technology

that keeps on improving each day. The

technology

development these days makes

people

lazy as there are lots of roles that can be easily replaced by AI.

For instance

, the existence of ChatGPT makes lots of students give up on school and not study seriously anymore.

Therefore

, when they graduate, they do not have the qualifications and skills that are needed to apply for a job. Another reason for

this

is the global economic crisis that has been going on for a

while

now. The crisis makes a bunch of young

people

choose to continue their education

further

instead

of entering the world of work.

As a result

, the amount of young

people

who choose to work keeps on decreasing as they prefer to explore various things and develop themselves.

To conclude

, the main reason why young

people

are having a hard time finding a new job is because of the

technology

development which results in humans being passive and relying fully on

technology

Therefore

, young

people

should learn to reflect on themselves and improve their skills so they can be someone who is needed and can not be replaced in the industry.

Submitted by audreynikkijoe on Mon Sep 02 2024

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task achievement

Ensure to provide specific examples for each main point to strengthen your arguments further. For instance, give concrete examples of how technology is replacing jobs and how young people are struggling to keep up.

task achievement

Clarify your points in the paragraphs. Sometimes statements seem a bit general. Providing more details will add depth to your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensuring each paragraph fully focuses on a single main idea and transitioning smoothly to the next can help.

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points more thoroughly. Each reason or factor should be expanded with supporting details and examples that are specific and relevant.

structure strength

You have a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state the topic and wrap up the discussion.

structure strength

Your essay is well-organized and demonstrates a good understanding of paragraphing.

content strength

You have touched on relevant and timely topics like technology and global economic crisis, showing awareness of current issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, young people are finding it harder to get work. What do you think are the main causes of this? What effect might this have in the future?

Fully explain your ideas

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Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a chil's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?