In many countries, young people are finding it harder to get work. What do you think are the main causes of this? What effect might this have in the future?
Nowadays, everyone clearly has to work hard to survive in the tough world and feed themselves.
However
, it is undeniable that young people
are finding it harder to get a job recently. There can be lots of reasons causing this
to happen, as well as
the side effects of those reasons.
One of the reasons this
may happen is the advanced technology
that keeps on improving each day. The technology
development these days makes people
lazy as there are lots of roles that can be easily replaced by AI. For instance
, the existence of ChatGPT makes lots of students give up on school and not study seriously anymore. Therefore
, when they graduate, they do not have the qualifications and skills that are needed to apply for a job.
Another reason for this
is the global economic crisis that has been going on for a while
now. The crisis makes a bunch of young people
choose to continue their education further
, instead
of entering the world of work. As a result
, the amount of young people
who choose to work keeps on decreasing as they prefer to explore various things and develop themselves.
To conclude
, the main reason why young people
are having a hard time finding a new job is because of the technology
development which results in humans being passive and relying fully on technology
. Therefore
, young people
should learn to reflect on themselves and improve their skills so they can be someone who is needed and can not be replaced in the industry.Submitted by audreynikkijoe on
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task achievement
Ensure to provide specific examples for each main point to strengthen your arguments further. For instance, give concrete examples of how technology is replacing jobs and how young people are struggling to keep up.
task achievement
Clarify your points in the paragraphs. Sometimes statements seem a bit general. Providing more details will add depth to your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensuring each paragraph fully focuses on a single main idea and transitioning smoothly to the next can help.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more thoroughly. Each reason or factor should be expanded with supporting details and examples that are specific and relevant.
structure strength
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state the topic and wrap up the discussion.
structure strength
Your essay is well-organized and demonstrates a good understanding of paragraphing.
content strength
You have touched on relevant and timely topics like technology and global economic crisis, showing awareness of current issues.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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