"Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer

Respecting the elderly within
society
is a fundamental principle that upholds
values
of
wisdom
, experience, and a collective cultural heritage. I firmly advocate for the significance of
honoring
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honouring
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the elderly, considering their invaluable contributions and the essential role they play in societal cohesion. Primarily, older individuals serve as repositories of
wisdom
and experience. Their years of life and exposure to diverse situations equip them with a wealth of knowledge, often invaluable for guiding younger generations. In many cultures, the elderly are revered as sources of traditional
wisdom
, passing down customs, stories, and life lessons that enrich the fabric of
society
.
For instance
, grandparents often serve as pillars of familial
wisdom
, imparting timeless
values
and cultural insights to younger family members.
Furthermore
, respecting the elderly fosters a sense of societal unity and intergenerational understanding. When
society
acknowledges and
values
the contributions of older individuals, it promotes harmony and inclusivity across age groups.
This
mutual
respect
bridges generational gaps, fostering empathy, understanding, and a stronger sense of community. By
honoring
Change the spelling
honouring
show examples
the elderly, societies cultivate an environment where all members feel valued and appreciated, irrespective of age.
Moreover
, advocating for the
respect
of the elderly aligns with fundamental human rights principles. Every individual, regardless of age, deserves dignity and
respect
. The older members of
society
have contributed significantly to its development, whether through professional achievements, nurturing families, or advancing communal well-being. As
such
,
honoring
Change the spelling
honouring
show examples
their contributions through
respect
is not only a moral obligation but
also
a demonstration of gratitude for their lifetime dedication.
However
, challenges arise when
this
respect
is not universally observed, leading to issues like elder neglect, discrimination, or marginalization. In some societies, the elderly might face social exclusion or inadequate care, highlighting the importance of actively upholding their rights and dignity. In conclusion, the assertion that older individuals are an essential part of
society
and deserve
respect
is unequivocally valid. Their
wisdom
, experience, and cultural significance serve as cornerstones for societal progress and harmony. Upholding
respect
for the elderly not only preserves traditions and
values
but
also
fosters intergenerational understanding and solidarity, laying the foundation for a more cohesive and empathetic
society
.
Submitted by tttokayttt on

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Coherence and Cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the essay. However, the conclusion could be strengthened by succinctly summarizing the key points of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence, and that the subsequent sentences elaborate on that topic, which will enhance the logical flow of ideas within the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
A good range of cohesive devices are used effectively throughout the essay to maintain logical flow and coherence.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the essay prompt thoroughly, providing a well-developed argument in favour of respecting the elderly, yet would benefit from including a counterargument to demonstrate the ability to engage with differing perspectives.
Task Achievement
Exemplification could be improved by including more detailed, specific examples to support the points made, such as historical figures, specific cultural practices, or data that highlight the importance of respecting elders.
Task Achievement
Try to incorporate a more direct answer to the question 'How much do you agree with this opinion?' as the essay tends to describe the reasoning without explicitly stating the degree of agreement.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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