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Writing Samples
Band 7

The internet is a great course of information and has opened up opportunities for people to learn all over the world. Is all information reliable on the internet? what could be done to control information online?

#internet #course #information #opportunities #people #world #control
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Advanced technology is an important key nowadays as the portal of
people
 gains
information
.
Nonetheless
, most resources on the
internet
 are untrusted since anyone can post whatever they want. With various sources spreading
information
 on the
Internet
, I think there is much wrong
information
 spreading. The role of those responsible for
this
 issue is not only society but
also
 the government must mitigate uncontrolled misinformation. I assume that the reliability of
information
 on the
internet
 is not valid.
For instance
, some organizations can upload misleading
information
 for individual purposes.
As a consequence
, some wrong articles can detriment many
people
 and spread hoaxes. The other reason for the importance of the valid article is some
people
 must be updated on other countries' news for some businesses.
Moreover
,
people
also
 study using the
Internet
. If the articles are not comprehensive, it will lead to the wrong understanding.
Thus
, society must check the validity of
information
 before using it.
Additionally
, many notions could be effective in mitigating
this
 phenomenon.
Firstly
,
people
 should be aware of several media that have trusted track records before. The involvement of the government,
Secondly
, create a cyber security team to manage and control the
internet
. With
this
, the validation of
information
 should be more trusted because of the collaboration between the community and the commission. In conclusion, the
internet
 is the portal for
people
 gaining
information
 from all over the world.
However
, many misleading articles are spread uncontrollably. I believe that both the government and society could mitigate
this
 phenomenon collaboratively.
Submitted by re.li on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within that paragraph consistently support that topic. Use a range of linking devices to connect ideas and paragraphs, and aim to create a more logical flow of information.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by providing a clear response to the prompt and fully developing all parts of the prompt. Make sure each paragraph contributes to answering the overall question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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