Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?
The widespread problem of
closure
of local businesses
that
small Add a missing verb
is that
companies
cannot compete with large, international businesses
. This
essay will discuss the main effects local
Change preposition
of local
communities
caused by closure
of local Add an article
the closure
shops
and some possible solutions to avoid them.
Reasons of
Change preposition
for
alarming
situation vary. In some cases, the problem of Correct article usage
the alarming
closure
Correct article usage
the closure
small
Change preposition
of small
businesses
is local communities
lose their uniqueness as international companies
are the same the world over. For instance
, big companies
offer the
wide selection of products and may neglect the local needs for specific goods or services. Correct article usage
a
In other words
, small businesses
support and involved
in local Add a missing verb
are involved
communities
’ activities thereby more aware of their specific demands.
Also
there is another problem Add a comma
Also,
that
large Correct pronoun usage
apply
businesses
do not shape the local community, whereas
local business
do. Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
For example
, international organizations usually do not connect with locals and con not
build a sense of community. Correct your spelling
cannot
In
Change preposition
As
the
Correct article usage
a
result
the locals feel themselves avoided or prevented.
Some possible solutions to these problems are local people should remain loyal to local Add a comma
result,
businesses
and big companies
should work alongside local businesses
. By staying as
loyal consumers to small Change preposition
apply
shops
, local people help them to survive or flourish and impact on
Change preposition
apply
economy
growth in rural regions. Replace the word
economic
Moreover
, the effective solution in
avoiding the Change preposition
to
closure
of small shops
is realization
of integrated business between international organizations and local Add an article
the realization
a realization
shops
. This
way, local communities
will be highly supported, and consumers will be offered as
broad range of products with Correct your spelling
a
local specific
Add a hyphen
local-specific
good
or services.
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
To conclude
, closure
of small Correct article usage
the closure
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
due to
lack
of opportunities to compete with international organizations causes problems for local Correct article usage
a lack
communities
. However
, local shops
can survive by having the support of local consumers and doing the
integrated projects with big Correct article usage
apply
companies
, if the above steps are taken, the situation will surely improve in the coming yearsSubmitted by njoldassova on
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a fair understanding of the topic with a logical sequence of ideas and presence of both introduction and conclusion. However, the intro could more explicitly state your main argument, and the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You should seek to enhance your logical structure by creating more cohesive arguments. The progression of your ideas can be smoother, ensuring that paragraphs and sentences are more clearly connected to the central thesis of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points were backed up but could benefit from a clearer line of argumentation. Make sure each main point is fully developed with more detailed examples or evidence.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat complete, but it requires a more precise focus on the two aspects of the question. Both the effect on local communities and the potential solutions are addressed, yet the treatment of these ideas lacks depth.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, they would be strengthened by being presented in a more comprehensive manner. Delve deeper into the effects and solutions instead of skirting over them, to provide a fuller argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided, but they lack specificity and detail. Using specific instances or case studies could solidify the arguments and provide the reader with convincing evidence of the points you are making.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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