It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?
It is widely believed that individuals should take prospects both in their working
lives
and their personal activities is essential to do. I believe that immersing in risky activities could bring several advantages which are beyond the disadvantages.
One commonly cited disadvantage of taking peril is being frustrated. This
is because when communities force themselves too much in order to deal with a risky goal in their jobs and fail, they will be stressed since the objective has depleted their energy and creativity. Although
,
it has a negative effect on Remove the comma
apply
people
, it can be an appropriate piece of training for their lives
in the long term.
However
, immersing in risky decisions will no doubt elevate people
’s experiences. This
is because individuals could learn indirectly how to tackle and solve some problems, which can be firsthand experiences and abilities in the long run. Another beneficial effect of taking risks is that people
will potentially become good leaders. It is the fact that they will undergo miscellaneous challenges throughout the danger. It means that the more hazards people
have, the more creativity they have to resolve many adversities. As an illustration, if youths are given a huge responsibility which puts them at risk, they will mature and become a great problem solver since they can obtain many strategies from the responsibility.
In conclusion, in spite of being frustrated, taking risks will inevitably develop experiences and create a great leader full of creativity. From then
on, the advantages of taking risks in professional lives
and personal lives
for people
exceed the disadvantages.Submitted by musa.nuwa on
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Introduction/Conclusion
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Logical Structure
Maintain logical structure throughout your essay by organizing ideas in a clear and logical manner. Your essay shows an attempt at logical structuring, but some ideas seem to be presented in a slightly disjointed manner, which can impact the flow of your argument.
Supported Main Points
Develop your main points with clear and specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic. Your essay touches upon several ideas, but the examples provided are not fully developed or particularly specific, which can impact the persuasiveness of your argument.
Complete Response
Address all parts of the task by providing a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks. While you mention both, the examination of each is not equally thorough, which can make the response seem imbalanced.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Articulate ideas clearly and in a way that is comprehensive to the reader by providing thorough explanations and exemplifications for each main point made. Your essay does offer some explanation, but sometimes the ideas need to be unpacked further to ensure they are completely understood.
Relevant Specific Examples
Use specific examples to illustrate your points and make sure they are directly related to the topic in question. Your essay includes some general examples; however, they could be more effective by providing more detail and directly linking back to how these examples support the risk-taking thesis.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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