You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter, • give details of your study plans • explain why you want to get a part-time job • suggest how your friend could help you find a job

#country #study #job #friend #lives #help #plans

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Dear Prabh, How are you? I hope your work life is going amazing, as you are doing your dream job. I want to share some good news with you. I am coming to Canada, yes it is true man! unbelievable right

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I got an admission to Practical Nursing at Algonquin College in Ottawa, near you.

Initially

, I Require some help regarding finding a part-time job

along with

my studies. I remember you mentioned before, that you have been working as a security guard for a long time now. If you can refer me to your company would help me a lot. I am determined to find part-time work to earn some money and later, can invest in my fees. My parents helped with the tuition fees for the first year and I do not want to burden them again. I need your assistance to find a work which does not disturb my studies and

also

pays a good amount. You have been in

this

country for a long time now. So, you know various jobs and can help to find. I should try everywhere so that I would have numerous options. I hope you help me and provide your assistance Yours lovingly, Harshit

Submitted by harshitkaur321 on Sun Jun 09 2024

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organization

The letter is well-organized, but you may want to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea more clearly. For instance, the paragraph about working as a security guard could be separated into why you need a part-time job and how your friend can help you find one.

grammar

Consider making minor corrections to perfect the grammar, such as changing 'Require' to 'require' or 'find a work' to 'find work.'

development

Although the letter covers the required points, expanding on each point slightly could provide a more thorough response.

task completion

You successfully addressed the purpose of your letter, which is to seek help from your friend in finding a part-time job.

tone

The writing tone is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend.

organization

The letter has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for different aspects of the topic.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

203 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Educational aspirations
Work experience
Financial independence
Resume (or CV)
Local job market
International student
Legal requirements
Student work permit
Employment trends
Time management
Networking
A part-time position
Balance studies and work
Job hunting strategies

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