It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?
One
of the most challenging issues in our lives
is dealing with the overwhelming concerns that we have about improving all aspects of our private lives
and careers. In order to overcome these feelings, one
should be capable of taking risks
once in a while
. But, one
question that arises here is whether it is beneficial to take risks
or not. In this
essay, I am going to explore the merits and demerits of taking risks
and also
, elaborate on my personal viewpoint.
People who are willing to take risks
both in their personal lives
and professions, strongly believe in the constructive effects of this
attitude. One
of the most outstanding advantages of such
behaviours is that if one
takes a calculated risk, there are high chances of sudden, enormous improvements in their lives
. For instance
, most people who buy shares in the stock market
are taking major risks
, but if they have observed the progress of the market
, it is highly possible that they end up gaining spectacular profits. On top of that, risk-takers are often experiencing more exciting lives
than others. The more risks
they take, the more passionate they become towards living an adventurous, meaningful life which is essential in living. As an example, athletes who engage in risky, dangerous activities such
as rock climbing are usually more productive in other aspects of their lives
.
On the other hand
, some individuals are against this
risk-taking manner on the grounds that they assume it has several negative impacts on their lives
. They are of the view that it is better to lead a normal, peaceful life than a stressful one
due to
the destructive anxiety that always comes along with
taking risks
. To exemplify, individuals who sell their properties to buy shares in a stock market
might be under a lot of pressure from the instability in the market
. Besides
that, if people do not weigh the Pros and Cons of their decision when taking a risk, it may lead to a devastating failure.
To sum up
, while
taking risks
is essential in our lives
, it is crucial to estimate the benefits and drawbacks of this
attitude. From my point of view, it is inevitable to make some high-stakes decisions sometimes and we should be able to embrace the uncertainty in order to gradually promote our lives
and also
, add some colours to it. So, I conclude that surely the benefits of taking risks
outweigh the drawbacks.Submitted by basri.fateme on
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task achievement
While you have comprehensively addressed the topic, you could strengthen your task response by providing more specific examples or evidence for both the stock market and the rock climbing points. This would make your argument even more convincing and rich in detail.
task achievement
Try to further develop your points regarding the negative impacts of risk-taking. A few more specific examples or detailed explanations would enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a clear logical structure, but it could benefit from smoother transitions between some paragraphs. For instance, ensure that the flow between discussing the positive aspects and the drawbacks is more seamless.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are very clear and well articulated, providing a strong framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have logically structured your arguments and supported your main points well.
task achievement
Your essay provides a thorough discussion on the topic, with a balanced perspective on both advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example